Good Parenting
by Shakespeare's Lemonade
Summary: Sequel to Bystander. McKenzie has settled into life in Hawaii when tragedy strikes. The 5-0s dive back into the Hadley case while McKenzie tries to pick up the pieces of her life and Steve has to face his past in order to help her. S/OC, D/K. COMPLETE.
1. Prologue: Three Months Ago

"Good Parenting"

Shakespeare's Lemonade

Rating: T

Genre: Friendship/Adventure/Romance

Summary: Sequel to Bystander. McKenzie has settled into life in Hawaii when tragedy strikes. The 5-0s dive back into the Hadley case while McKenzie tries to pick up the pieces of her life and Steve has to face his past in order to help her.

Pairings: Steve/OC, Danny/Kono

A/N: If you haven't read "Bystander" I would suggest you do, or this story won't make much sense. If you have, I love you!

_**Prologue:**_

_**Three months ago...**_

Steve was happy just to be standing. He was getting restless after one long night in the hospital and couldn't wait to get outside. Hearing someone at the door, he turned around. There stood a man who was probably in his early fifties. It took a moment for Steve to realize what was so familiar about his eyes.

"Mr. Carpenter?" he asked.

The man smiled. "Jim," he said. "And you're Steve McGarrett."

"Yes sir," Steve replied.

Jim offered his hand. "Thank you."

Steve returned the handshake, wondering how he was supposed to respond to that.

It turned out he didn't have to as Jim continued: "McKenzie told us everything that happened. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised... but I don't mind a pleasant surprise now and then." Then he smiled. "Come on. Macks volunteered me to drive you home."

"Who?"

"Macks? She hasn't told you about her nickname... well, I guess that's not surprising. Don't tell her I told you."

Steve smiled. He had been wondering how to shorten her name, since calling her "Em-see-capital-Kay-enzie" took too long.

"So where is everyone?" Steve asked as they walked toward the parking lot.

"Your partner went to your house," Jim said. "Something about making sure you don't fall down in the shower. And Macks and her mom went to get food."

"So everyone's going to end up at my house?"

"Looks like it. The other two said they were tying up some loose ends."

Steve smiled, thinking of how hard they worked. He was sorry for them that he would have to take the whole week off. He was probably more sorry for himself, though.

When he saw his truck, Steve was surprised. "You're driving?" he asked.

Jim held up the keys. "Your partner gave them to me."

"Revenge. I see."

"How's that?" Jim asked as they got in the truck.

"He's always complaining that I drive his car all the time. I like driving. He says I have control issues."

"I would think someone in your line of work would _need_ control issues."

"Thank you! Now, if you could only explain that to Danny."

"So you admit you have control issues?"

"Off the record—by which I mean, you won't tell Danny—Yes. Like you said, I have to."

"And don't think I'm not thankful for that."

"Honestly, anyone in my position would have done the same thing. Actually, someone else probably wouldn't have forgotten their extra ammo, knife, and shoes."

"To be fair, you were distracted."

Steve didn't reply at first. He knew that was true, but he didn't have to like it. "Distraction can get people killed."

Jim glanced over at Steve who was staring straight through the windshield. He had a feeling he had just touched a raw nerve.

"You did your job in the end," Jim finally said.

"In the end," Steve agreed. "With help."

"Who was it said 'no man is an island'?"

"I don't know. McKenzie probably would."

Jim pulled into Steve's driveway and the conversation ended. Inside, Danny had made the entire house "injury proof." Grace was there with him and shortly after Steve and Jim arrived, McKenzie and Michelle came with the food.

"Chin and Kono are on their way," Danny said, as they all sat down. "They said to start without them."

"That's probably a good thing," Steve said. "You might not have lasted much longer."

"Hey, I'm not the one who had hospital food for dinner."

"Yes you did, Danno" Grace said.

"Oh, was someone worried about me?" Steve teased.

"Someone?" McKenzie asked. "Try everyone."

"So we all spent the night with indigestion," Danny said.

There was a short knock at the door and then it opened.

"We're here," Kono called.

Soon she and Chin came into the dining room to see that breakfast hadn't even started.

"I thought you were going to start without us," Chin said.

"Danno was too busy talking," Steve said.

"I'll bet he was," Kono said, leaning over to kiss Danny's cheek and then sitting down. Steve realized that that was going to take some getting used to. Chin say next to Grace and the two of them started whispering conspiratorially. Everyone started eating, but the talking didn't stop. Over the course of the meal, Steve was given several sets of rules. The harshest were probably the regulations about water. He wasn't allowed in the ocean until the stitches were out, and someone would be hanging around to make sure he didn't try to take a swim.

Once breakfast was over and the dishes were cleared away, Danny left to take Grace to school and Chin and Kono headed back to the office. About that time, Steve remembered that it was Tuesday, but surprisingly, he didn't care.

Later that morning, McKenzie's voice was heard all over the house: "_Dad_!"

Jim and Michelle had been out on the deck and came rushing back into the house to find McKenzie standing in the middle of the living room, hands on her hips, her face so red they couldn't see her freckles. Steve was sitting on the couch, trying not to laugh, because it hurt, but failing miserably.

"What did I do?" Jim asked.

"What did you do? What did you do?" McKenzie's voice rose with each word.

"You weren't supposed to tell her," Jim said, giving Steve an accusatory look.

Steve couldn't reply because he was still trying not to laugh.

McKenzie crossed her arms. "I suppose you couldn't know that _someone_ has an annoying habit of appropriating nicknames."

"I'm sorry," Jim said. "I really didn't mean to. But he would have found out eventually anyway."

"You can stop talking about me like I'm not here," Steve said, with only a hint of mirth in his voice.

McKenzie held up her hand. "Don't speak."

"Aww," Michelle said. "Their first fight."

"You're a little late, Mom. That was about a week ago."

"Which one are you thinking of?" Steve asked.

"In the car."

"That wasn't a fight; it was our first conversation. I think the fight was when I made you lunch."

"That was more like a misunderstanding. However, when you woke me up in the middle of the night..."

"Because you were screaming."

"Can you corroborate that?"

"You're right; That was our first fight."

"I think you're purposefully distracting me from the matter at hand."

"That is entirely possible."

McKenzie sat down next to Steve. "Here's the deal," she said. "Call me 'Macks' again, and I'll shoot you."

"Then you're going to have to come up with something else I can call you."

"How about my name? Is that so hard?"

"No, but I don't think it's fair that I don't get to have a special name for you."

"That doesn't make any sense. You don't have a nickname."

"You do realize that it doesn't say 'Steve' on my birth certificate, don't you?"

"But it's what everyone calls you."

"So?"

"So, everyone calls me 'McKenzie'."

"Exactly!"

"Well, you've lost me," Jim said.

"That's another one of his annoying habits," McKenzie said. "Incoherence."

"Probably the painkillers talking," Steve said.

"You'd better hope so."

The Carpenters spent the rest of the day at Steve's house. Steve was a bit surprised that he never got the "if you hurt my daughter, I'll kill you" speech from Jim, but McKenzie told him that her father was not in the habit of threatening law enforcement. Steve thought putting himself in danger for McKenzie probably had a lot to do with it too.

In the end, Jim and Michelle actually spent more time at Steve's house than McKenzie did that week, because she was off searching for a job, while they were very recently retired. Steve found out that Jim had an interest in old cars, and had even restored an old Jeep back in Oregon. So, the two of them spent some time in the garage, and Steve almost started to feel like he had a sort of father in his life again.

Michelle was much more adventurous than Steve would have assumed from looking at her and she asked him if he would teach her to surf and snorkel. For that, they had to wait a while because Steve wasn't allowed in the water yet, and McKenzie wanted to go too. Unfortunately, Jim's feelings about water were similar to Danny's. He didn't begrudge other's enjoyment of it, but was not interested in making its acquaintance.

Altogether, it was one of the best weeks Steve could remember. Everyone was coming over for a barbeque on Saturday and on Monday, he was getting his stitches out before going back to work.

Things were looking up.


	2. Her Father's Song

**Thanks for the reviews and so on. You'll all probably hate me for what's about to happen, but that's how the story goes. More on that later. **

**Chapter One "Her Father's Song"**

"_**I saw the sky go black today; I felt your tears and ached your pain"~FM Static**_

"Kids are afraid of me," Steve said.

McKenzie looked over at him from her place on the couch in his office. She'd had a half day at school and was hanging out at the 5-0 HQ for the afternoon. She looked a bit odd, lounging in a pencil skirt and heels. Steve thought she looked odd dressed that way, no matter what her position, and she would agree, but fancy private schools required their employees to dress "professionally."

"Is that your answer?" she asked in reference to Steve's previous statement.

He looked up from his paperwork. "I don't know; I haven't thought about it."

"Ever?"

"Not really."

McKenzie shrugged. "I'm not saying you have to answer. I was just curious."

Steve rubbed his chin and fiddled with his pen. "McKenzie, you work with kids all day and you're good at it. The only kid I know is Grace and she tolerates me. I guess I just don't think I could do it."

"Steve, the only thing I know about your parents is how great you think they were. But all those things you admire about them, I see in you... I think you would make a great father."

Steve angled his head as if conceding half the point. "That's not all." He got up from his desk and paced to the window.

McKenzie sat up. "What?" There was no answer. "Steve?"

He exhaled loudly and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just I lost both of my parents... I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone else."

McKenzie didn't say anything for a moment. "So, you really don't want to have kids?"

He looked down at her, realizing he may have said too much. "I can't answer that yet," he finally said.

McKenzie got up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's okay," she said. "I'm glad you're taking seriously. I mean, you haven't even asked me to marry you."

Steve smiled and ran his hand through her hair. "Yet," he said.

"I want it on the record that _you_ said that."

"Which record?"

"The one in that crazy memory of yours."

"Right."

McKenzie pulled away and looked Steve over. As if satisfied that he was safe to be left alone, she picked up her bag from the floor and took a step in the direction of the door.

"I'm gonna go change," she said." Then I have to return Mom's sewing machine."

"Remind me why you borrowed it?" Steve said.

McKenzie tilted her head. "Because my apartment needed curtains, and I couldn't figure out how to use your mom's old one."

"What, because it's not digitized?"

"No. It's just different, and I'm not particularly good at using one anyway."

"I could show you."

"Well, you need new curtains too."

"You don't like the ones with bullet holes?"

"I'm not going to comment. Anyway, I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Tell you're mom I'll take you two snorkeling next week."

"Does 5-0 get spring break?"

"There are lulls."

"Okay. Call me when you get off."

"Yep. I love you."

"Love you too."

McKenzie always kept a pair of jeans and Chucks in her school bag so she could change after work if she didn't go straight home. She often spent her afternoons in Steve's office, even if he wasn't there, which was usually. She would grade papers and prepare lessons and when Steve was there, he got to hear all the funny stories about the kids.

When it came to Grace Williams, parent/teacher conferences were a breeze. It helped that Grace was smart and worked hard, but in the rare event that she got a bad grade, McKenzie could talk to Danny about it and they could figure out why.

Because of the half day, Grace was at the 5-0 HQ as well, so when McKenzie was ready to leave, she asked if Grace wanted to come with her.

"I'm sure Danno has lots of paperwork to do," she said with a smirk.

Danny tired to glare at her, but found it impossible. "You are the worst," he said. "You're exactly like Steve only cute. It's like trying to be mad at a puppy."

"I know," McKenzie replied, grinning. "So, Grace, you want to come?"

"Sure," Grace said. "Your mom makes good cookies."

"Yeah, she does." McKenzie took Grace by the hand. "See you later Danno."

"Bye Danno!"

Danny shook his head as the two of them left. He never liked Steve calling him that, but he couldn't seem to find the same thing irritating in McKenzie. He had considered brainwashing as a possibility.

A short time later, Danny entered Steve's office.

"I just got an email from high priest Herman," he said.

"Burton?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. Said he's coming here to see if he can help us find Hadley's cohort."

Steve tapped his pen on the desk. "This could be really good or really bad."

"That's what I thought. It'll give us a chance to question him in person, though."

"True." Steve leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head."

"Is something wrong?" Danny asked, taking a seat across from Steve.

Steve shook his head. "Not about this."

"What about then?"

"It's not important."

"You know, you gotta stop internalizing everything."

"It's just something I have to think about. Nothing you need to know."

"What? I'm hurt." Danny placed a hand over his chest. "Besides, I'm a detective; I already know."

"What? No you don't."

"Well, I know it has something to do with your lovely, yet evil girlfriend."

"Evil?"

"Yes. She manages to call me 'Danno' without making me want to strangle her. It's very irritating."

"That's good to know."

"So what did she say? Or what did you say?"

"Danny, it's really nothing."

"Well, I have nothing better to do since I am so efficient at doing paperwork. Humor me."

"It's not something I have to worry about for a few years anyway."

Danny was silent for a second. "Oh."

"Oh? Oh, what?"

"Either you're commitment phobic or it has something to do with kids. Since I'm pretty sure it's not the former, I'm going with kids."

"Shut up."

"I'm right? I knew it."

"I know you understand. That's enough."

"I do? Yes, I do. I can tell you that Grace is the best thing that ever happened to me. I know, you think it's you. Sorry to bust your bubble."

"I'm crushed," Steve said in a monotone.

"I know. You deserve it. Anyway, that's a decision the two of you have to make. Sometimes though, you're surprised."

Steve gave Danny a curious look. "Wasn't Grace planned?"

"Sort of. I mean we wanted kids, but hadn't actually 'tried'. So it might be best to leave it up to someone bigger than yourself... I know that's a difficult concept for you to grasp."

Steve smirked. "Yeah... Like I said, I have a few years to think about it."

"And you'd better pray they take after her."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"The world can barely handle _one_ Steve McGarrett."

**H-5-O**

Jim Carpenter's lawn was pristine and he had recently repainted the garage door. Michelle's flowerbeds had been weeded that morning.

McKenzie hefted the sewing machine out of her trunk and followed Grace up the sidewalk, talking about chocolate chip cookies all the way. In the short time they had known each other, Michelle had become a sort of grandmother to Grace, since both of hers were on the other side of the world. And it wasn't just because of the cookies.

Inside the house, the air was devoid of any smell resembling cookies. In fact there was a bitter smell, a smell McKenzie recalled too well. She unceremoniously dropped the sewing machine on the dining room table and grabbed Grace's hand. With her other hand, she reached for her .38 special. Then she crept slowly through the house. Peering into the family room, she heard a noise. Gripping Grace's hand tighter, McKenzie scanned the room. Her eyes came to rest on a pair of Columbia hiking shoes.

Forgetting everything else, McKenzie hurried to her father, the source of the noise.

"Dad!" she choked, seeing his shirt soaked with blood.

"M... acks," Jim groaned.

"What's going on?" Grace asked, coming into the room.

"Stop!" McKenzie said, holding up her hand, now covered in blood, though she didn't know how.

Grace's eyes widened and she looked like she might scream.

"Gracie," McKenzie said, softer than before. "Can you get me a towel or something?"

Grace nodded and hurried to the kitchen. McKenzie remembered to put pressure on her father's wound and pulled out her phone.

It rang twice before Steve answered.

"I thought I said I'd call you," Steve said.

McKenzie didn't reply for a second. "Steve, I need help."

"What happened?" His voice suddenly became serious.

"It's Dad. Someone shot him."

"Where?"

"In the family room."

"No, where on his body?"

"Oh, his chest."

"Did it go through?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Okay. You're putting pressure on it?"

"Yes. Gracie's getting me a towel."

"Right. Danny's calling an ambulance and we're getting in the car right now."

"Okay." McKenzie's voice was breathy and didn't sound convinced.

"Hey," Steve said, "it's gonna be okay. Is he conscious?"

"Yeah... sort of."

"Try talking to him."

Grace came back into the room with a white dish towel folded into a square. She stopped near Jim's head and held it out.

"Here," she said. "Uncle Jim are you okay?"

Jim made some unintelligible noises.

"What was it you always told me about mumbling?" McKenzie asked.

"Don't..." Jim gasped.

"That's right... Just stay with me, okay, Dad."  
"Mmh."

It seemed like only a few seconds before Steve and Danny arrived. It very well may have been, considering Steve's driving. In the distance, McKenzie could hear sirens. Steve knelt on the floor across from her and placed his hand over hers. With his other hand, he felt Jim's pulse.

"Jim?" he said. "Hey, can you hear me? Blink once... okay. Where's Michelle?"

McKenzie mentally slapped herself for not thinking to ask.

"They..." Jim started, "took her."

"Who?" Steve asked.

"Don't... know. A woman... two others. Wore masks."

"Okay, just hang in there. We'll find her."

McKenzie wasn't sure if Steve meant her mother or the one who did this.

"Macks," Jim gasped suddenly.

"Dad?" she replied.

"I love you."

"Daddy, I love you too." She put her free hand on the side of his face. "Don't worry. You're gonna be okay."

Jim only stared at her for a second and then looked at Steve. "I know..." His breath came shorter. "You'll take good care of her."

"Jim." Steve's voice sounded desperate and McKenzie finally knew to be afraid.

"Dad," she whispered. "Stay with me."

Jim's breathing slowed. Steve felt his pulse weaken.

"No, Jim!"

"Dad!"


	3. Hello Alone

**I'm sorry for beginning on such a sad note. I know some of you liked Jim, so never fear: he will show up in flashbacks and dreams throughout this story. Jack McGarrett will make a few appearances too. **

**Chapter Two "Hello Alone"**

"_**Is this the end of everything we know? This is the end of everything I am. Is anybody out there? Hello alone."~Anberlin**_

Grace Williams sat on the curb trying not to pay attention to the EMTs or Paramedics or whatever they were. Then there were the police, and Danno had to talk to all of them. Grace thought he was trying to be quiet so she wouldn't hear, but he wasn't very good at it. That was the one thing Grace could always count on: the sound of her dad's voice carrying across streets and yards. It made her feel strangely comforted knowing he was still the same.

It was a long time that Grace sat there until Danny came over to her. He didn't say anything, but picked her up and hugged her tight.

"Uncle Jim's dead?" she whispered. She could feel Danny nodding against her shoulder. There was another feeling though. Danny's whole body seemed to be shaking and Grace figured that now it was okay to cry. She remembered the first time she met Jim. He'd talked to her more than he had the adults. He didn't like swimming, just like Danno. She remembered how good his hugs were.

Danny and Grace sat down on the curb side by side.

"I called your mom," Danny said. "She's gonna meet us back at the office, okay?"

Grace nodded. "I wish I could stay with you."

"I know. But I have to go back to work."

"You'll catch the bad guys, right? You always do."

"Yeah. We'll make them pay for what they did to Uncle Jim."

"And Aunt Michelle?"

Danny nodded. "We'll find her too."

**H-5-O**

McKenzie sat on the porch swing for a long time. She didn't know how long. At one point, she looked down at her left wrist. There was the scar from when she broke the glass coffee table at the safe house. And she remembered Steve's scar, one of many, on the back of his left hand from Haldey's knife. And she thought of the many ways they were the same, wondering if this were just one more.

McKenzie recalled the last words her father spoke: "I know you'll take good care of her." Right now, she had to believe that, to hold on to it for all she was worth or risk falling apart. So, she felt almost happy when the swing stopped moving as it came in contact with Steve's leg. Then he sat down next to her putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I wish I knew what to say," he said.

McKenzie leaned into him. "I know," she replied.

"No," Steve said. "I should know what to say. I should know how this works."

"It doesn't _work_. It just is."

"It shouldn't be."

"If we start talking about how it's not fair, we'll never stop. The truth is, I'm pissed and I feel like dying. So let's just find the bitch who did this and bring Mom home."

Steve didn't say anything for a minute. He'd never heard McKenzie use language stronger than an occasional "dang it" and even that was rare. However much he wanted to agree with her and ignore what just happened, he knew from experience that it wouldn't work.

"McKenzie, when my dad died, I just buried it," he said. "And now I have no idea how emotionally healthy people deal with things like this."

"You don't think I know that?" McKenzie asked. "Why else would you never talk about him?"

"I don't know, but I know you're just going to be more miserable if you get tunnel vision like me."

"So what? I go home and mope while you catch the bad guys?"

"No. Right now, Danny's going to take you and Grace back to HQ while the rest of us start questioning the neighbors. You can give Danny any information that might be helpful."

McKenzie sat up and looked at Steve. She was mad, but she wasn't mad at him and she had to keep reminding herself of that.

"Okay," she said.

They stood and walked slowly down the sidewalk to the street. Danny was already waiting by the car and Chin and Kono were ready to start investigating.

"Hey," Steve said, taking McKenzie's hand. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah," she replied, squeezing his hand and letting go.

Steve watched her get into Danny's car and drive away. He knew he was leaving her in good hands. That was just the problem; Danny would do better than he had. Steve would never admit it, but that was something he envied in his partner. Danny always knew just what to say to comfort or inflict pain, depending on the circumstances.

And there Steve stood, watching them go, knowing that he couldn't have done any better comforting McKenzie if his life depended on it.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie leaned her head against the car window as they drove back to 5-0 HQ. She squinted in the bright sunlight as she watched buildings and palm trees fly by. Danny drove in a way that his passengers didn't know they were moving. Usually, McKenzie liked that, but today, it felt eerie.

When they pulled up in front of 5-0 HQ, Rachel was waiting for them. Grace ran over to hug her mom and then got into the other car. But Rachel didn't follow her. Instead, she came over to where Danny and McKenzie were standing.

"I'm so sorry about your father," she said. "If there's anything we can do... I mean anything, name it." She looked at Danny. "Keep us informed, if you would."

Danny nodded. He knew how much Rachel respected McKenzie. And Rachel was well aware of her daughter's attachment to the entire Carpenter family.

When Rachel left, Danny put his arm around McKenzie's shoulders.

"Come on," he said, leading her up the stairs. "I think you need a drink."

McKenzie laughed humorlessly. "You know I don't drink, right?"

"Yes... How do you feel about Diet Coke?"

"Why do you have Diet Coke?"

"It's Kono's. Her fridge is full of snacks."

They reached Danny's office and he got a couple of the grey cans. McKenzie sat in the chair in front of his desk and took a long drink.

"She must still be growing, like me," McKenzie said.

"I hope not," Danny relied, sitting on the edge of the desk.

McKenzie nodded. "I suppose I can understand that. So, you should understand why I would want to be taller."

"Yeah." Danny grimaced at the aspartame aftertaste. "You know, your dad... he was a good man."

McKenzie nodded. "You would know."

"What do you mean?"

"He was a lot like you. I mean, he didn't have your stellar communication skills, but otherwise..."

"You mean he knew when to keep his mouth shut?"

"It could go both ways... You say everything you think and Dad rarely did. Both can be good or bad. In this case, Dad would hug me and not say anything. You say everything which is good, because people tend to slip into denial."

"And Steve wants to say the right thing, but he doesn't know what that is, so he sent you with me."

"You are a very good detective."

"What both of you seem to fail to understand is that there is no just right thing to say. I can tell you over and over again how I'm gonna find the people who did this and shoot them, but that won't make you feel better. I can tell you I'm gonna find your mom, and I am, or we are. But until she's back, you're still going worry."

"But the fact that the best police force on this island is going to find my mom helps."

Danny tipped his can. "True... And justice, well, it sort of takes away the sting."

"I hope so. But why would someone do this?"

Danny looked like he wasn't going to answer for a second. "Do you really want to know what I think?" he finally asked.

"I think I already do, but go ahead."

"Hadley must have had help. I have my theories as to who helped him, but they are completely unfounded. But whoever killed your dad and took your mom must know that you had a hand in taking him down."

"But _we_ don't even know that."

"Even if your bullet didn't kill him, you still identified him and led us to the safe house. Directly or indirectly, you killed Hadley."

"So it's revenge?"

"Obviously there's no proof of that. But why else?"

"I know..." McKenzie looked down at her feet.

"Hey." Danny made McKenzie look him in the eye. "Whatever happens, none of this was your fault. You did the right thing all along. No one could have foreseen this."

McKenzie nodded. "Kono was right," she said. "You do always know what to say."

Danny shook his head and threw his empty can in the garbage. "I don't know if I can live up to these high expectations."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"Right. So I have a serious question."

McKenzie took a large gulp of Coke. "Shoot."

"What are you going to do about Steve."

"What?"

"Well, this is a rather delicate subject, but you obviously know how weird he gets about his parents."

"Yeah. He said something about that earlier. Something about burying it."

"That would make sense."

"But how do you dig it up without completely demolishing the pretty rose garden you've built over it?"

"You don't. As long as we're going with this metaphor anyway, the roses are going to die soon, so why not put them out of their misery? Yes, Steve puts on a brave face about everything, but underneath that is some serious pain."

McKenzie nodded slowly. "I guess he's so used to taking care of everyone, he thinks he can't show any weakness."

"But he's not going to be able to help you unless he deals with his own issues."

"But what am I supposed to do about that?"

"I don't know. That's the one thing about him that's always eluded me. I know what the problem is, but not what to do about it. I think he's the only one who can do anything."

"I hate that this might be what makes him, though."

"Yeah. Me too."

**H-5-O**

Steve focused on the task at hand. Not the fact that Jim Carpenter was dead. Not the fact that this bothered him more than the fact that McKenzie had just lost her father. He pushed it down, like he was trying not to vomit. There would be a time for him to sort out all the implications of what happened later. Always later.

Unfortunately, the Carpenter's neighbors were not very helpful. No one had heard or seen anything all afternoon. One person recalled Jim and Michelle doing yard work that morning, but nothing after.

Back in front of their house, Steve looked up at the pristine yard and impeccable paint job. He remembered how much pride Jim took in everything he did. He edged his lawn every week. Steve couldn't remember ever edging a lawn. It sounded like hard work and Steve didn't care that much about his lawn after he pretty much demolished it with his Molotov cocktails.

Shaking his head, Steve turned back to the street. Chin and Kono had already left for the office and McKenzie's car waited for Steve. For a minute, he stood there on the sidewalk, staring at the little green VW Jetta. Everything he had been trying not to think of came back to his mind. Like McKenzie, Steve was angry. But it wasn't even about McKenzie. It was about Jim. Steve had gotten used to having him around and though he hadn't realized it, Jim had become a huge part of his life. And as of yet, Steve still wasn't sure what Jim's death meant. At least, not what it meant to him.

Eventually, Steve got in the car and headed back to HQ. He was going to have to face McKenzie sooner or later.

**H-5-O**

Chin and Kono got back to HQ long before Steve. In fact, everyone was beginning to worry about their fearless leader when he came through the doors, lacking his usual purposeful stride.

"Where've you been?" Danny asked. "We were getting worried."

That much was true, and Steve could see it in everyone's eyes. But he didn't respond to that.

"Where's McKenzie?" he asked.

"Your office," Chin said. "But you didn't answer the question."

"I'll be right back." Steve turned and headed to his office without another word.

Danny spread his arms in his trademark annoyed posture and Kono gave him a warning look. They all silently agreed to give him a few minutes before going over what they knew so far.

McKenzie was sitting with her legs on the couch, just as she had earlier that afternoon. Steve stood in the doorway for a moment watching her breathe because she wasn't doing anything else. Finally, she turned and looked at him.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

"No." Steve came across the room and sat next to her. "No one heard or saw anything."

McKenzie reached out and touched his arm. "I think," she began, "I think we should both go home. Let the others take over tonight."

Steve shook his head. "I can't do that."

"Why? Oh, yeah, you have to find my mom, and I don't mean to belittle your skills or anything, but Danny is perfectly capable of leading the team for one day. More importantly, though, you need time to think, as evidenced by your extended absence this afternoon."

"I wish I could say your long sentences were confusing."

"Because you don't want to admit I'm right. I know." McKenzie pulled her knees up to her chest and clasped her hands under her chin. The two of them stared into each other's eye for a long moment.

"Please go home," McKenzie said. "Think about your dad. Only you know what that means."

Steve nodded slowly. "Yeah." His voice was low. "I have so many reasons right now not to go there... But I think you're right."


	4. Underneath

**Chapter Three "Underneath"**

"_**Underneath I'm shattered. Fix my heart; it's broken. Bring me back to life."~A Road Less Traveled**_

Steve's house was dark when he drove in. Usually, he wouldn't notice, but this evening, he was acutely aware of the fact that no one was there waiting for him. For a second, he regretted sending Mary Ann back to LA, because at that moment he would have given almost anything to talk to her. As he thought of this, Steve remembered that it had been several weeks since he'd heard from Mary Ann. Their last conversation was when he told her about McKenzie. It wasn't weeks; it was months.

Once inside, Steve looked at the clock. It would still be reasonable to call LA. He sat down on the couch and took out his phone. For a second, he stared at it, debating whether to call his sister. He had no idea what he would say, or if she would even answer. He figured it wouldn't hurt to try, though.

Mary answered on the third ring: "What do you want?"

"Mary? Is this a bad time?" Steve asked.

"No, I just have to be up at five, so it's not like I would want to be sleeping right now or anything."

"Five? Oh, right. The bakery."

"Yes. I make delicious scones. Now what do you want?"

"Never mind. I'll let you go back to sleep."

"Why? Is something wrong."

"Um, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Did that girl break up with you or something?"

"What? No. It's... forget it. You need to sleep."

"Steven, I'm not going to fall asleep knowing something is up down there, so out with it."

Steve sighed. "It's Jim. McKenzie's dad. He was killed today."

Mary didn't respond for a second. "What happened?"

"Someone shot him and abducted Michelle."

"Why would someone do that?"

"I don't know. I really don't know."

"That's terrible. Is McKenzie okay?"

"Yeah. She's, well, I don't know. I think she's better off than I am right now."

"Yeah? Is that why you called me?"

"I guess so. Mary, we've talked about Dad, but... not really."

**H-5-O**

McKenzie slid the chain on her door into a locked position and stared at it for a second. She wondered if it would really keep anyone out, or if she even needed to be worried about that. The more she thought about it, the more confused she became. If someone was out for revenge, why wouldn't they just kill her? Or did it in fact have anything to do with Hadley? Just thinking about it made McKenzie's head hurt.

Not bothering to eat dinner, she changed into some sweats, climbed into bed, and promptly cried herself to sleep. She woke around seven the next morning, and after she had showered and started munching on some breakfast, McKenzie happened to look out her window. There on the curb, she saw a familiar blue Chevy pickup, and leaning against it was a rather sleepy looking Steve.

McKenzie knocked on her window and Steve looked up. She gestured for him to come up and went to unlock the door. Then she went back to the kitchen to retrieve some coffee. Steve let himself in and met her there.

"Did you sleep much?" she asked, handing him a large mug.

Steve shook his head, taking a sip. "Maybe half an hour," he said. "I called Mary and we talked most of the night."

McKenzie tilted her head. She hoped this was a good thing. "Have you been in to work yet?"

"No. I came over here first thing. I wanted to check on you."

"Well, I'm doing okay."

Steve nodded. "I was thinking, though. If someone is trying to hurt you, you'll want to be careful."

McKenzie bit the inside of her lip and nodded slowly. "I hadn't thought of that."

"So if you think someone might be watching you or following you, come straight to me."

"Yeah. No worries there."

"And you have your gun?"

"Yes. I've been carrying it since... since Dad gave it to me."

Steve nodded. "Good." He finished off his coffee. Setting his mug next to the sink, he put his hands around McKenzie's waist. "Don't try to be brave, okay?" he said.

McKenzie smiled, ironically. "Believe me, if anything weird happens, I will be calling you from the car."

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"It's just good to know." Steve leaned in and kissed McKenzie. His lips were still warm from the coffee. "You know I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"I'll call you later."

McKenzie smiled, thinking of how many times he'd said that, how many calls she'd looked forward to. Now, she wasn't sure how to feel, because his next call could be about her mother and she could only pray it would be good news.

**H-5-O**

Back at HQ Danny, Kono, and Chin had pulled an all-nighter. However, Danny seemed uncharacteristically bright that morning. When Chin asked him about it, he lifted the coffee mug in his hand.

"Someone got new coffee," he said. "I don't know where it came from, but it's fantastic."

"I think that's the boss' coffee," Kono said. "He got it after we had those three cases in a row."

Danny shuddered. "That was a nightmare."

"That's what the coffee's for, Danno," Steve said, coming though the door.

"You know, you really shouldn't sneak up on someone who's had so much caffeine."

"Sure." Steve took the mug from Danny and drank the last of the coffee while Danny stared. Steve made a face. "What did you put in that?" he asked, handing the mug back.

"Sugar," Danny replied, looking into the cup forlornly.

Steve's face became more contorted. "Why would you do that?"

"To keep you from _stealing_ my coffee, but apparently, that doesn't work."

"That is not a mistake I will be making again. So, what do we know so far?"

"I have a theory," Danny said, holding up one finger. "Well, I have absolutely no facts to back this up."

"Then it's a hypothesis," Chin said.

"Okay, I have a hypothesis."

"Would you mind sharing with the class?" Steve asked, crossing his arms.

"Arnold Hadley," Danny said. "He couldn't have pulled off what he did on his own and plenty of people know that McKenzie identified him."

"Yeah, but where does the hypothesis come in?"

"Well, I think he must have had a lackey or two and there's one person in particular whose story I find anything but convincing."

"Can you just get to the point?"

"Jennifer Lee."

"The creepy widow?" Kono asked.

"Yes. Exactly."

"What's so creepy about her?" Steve asked.

"You'd have to meet her, brah," Chin said.

"Okay, but her husband was the leader of the four of them, right?"

"Unofficially," Danny said. "She's been extremely uncooperative and her story doesn't add up."

"Right. She's the one who supposedly knew everything about them, but not their involvement with the cult or whatever it is."

"Yeah, and I find her believable as a murderer."

"Why's that?"

"She just has this... air."

Kono nodded in understanding. Steve and Chin looked at her curiously.

"You think so too, cos'?" Chin asked.

"Yeah. I could see it," she said, seeming mildly uncomfortable.

"See what exactly?" Steve asked.

Kono shrugged. "I didn't like the way she looked at Danny."

The corner of Danny's mouth twitched, but he was also disturbed by the thought that Jennifer Lee was giving him creepy looks that he didn't know about.

"If giving Danny malicious looks were against the law, I would be serving several life sentences," Steve said.

Kono shook her head. "It wasn't like that," she said. "I don't know how to explain it to the current company."

"Wait a second," Danny said. "What does that mean?"

"It's kind of like a love/hate thing," Kono replied.

"You know who this woman sounds like?" Steve asked.

"Don't," Danny said. "Don't even go there."

"It wouldn't hurt to talk to her, though."

"It might. Let's go."

**H-5-O**

A revolver doesn't have a safety. You just have to squeeze harder if the hammer isn't pulled back. Of course, a .38 round won't do a lot of damage unless you're a good shot.

McKenzie was well aware of all these things. So the cold metal against her back was little comfort as she stood outside her parents' home. There was cation tape across the door, but no one was there. She was pretty sure it was illegal to enter a crime scene, but that wasn't exactly the first thing on her mind.

McKenzie didn't go into the living room, but straight upstairs to her father's den. She knew the combination for his safe and opened it quickly. Taking what she wanted, she hurried back out to her car and drove toward home. When she pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment, she processed what she had done. Taking a gun from a crime scene probably wasn't the best idea. She didn't think anyone would check, but if they did, Steve would know the .357 was missing. It was Jim's favorite gun.

McKenzie replaced the .38 and put it in her glove box and started the car again. She didn't really notice the shaking of her hands or how much more often she looked in the rear-view mirror.

**H-5-O**

After his first encounter with Jennifer Lee, Steve was staring to agree with Danny. He was surprised because he'd assumed Danny was being his usual nonobjective self.

"You were right," he said as they left Mrs. Lee's new home.

"I'm sure it must be very painful for you to say that," Danny replied. "I'm I gonna have to let you drive now?"

"Yes."

They got in the car and started back toward HQ.  
"So what was I right about?" Danny asked.

"Jennifer Lee. She's nothing like that other person I was thinking of."

"Nothing?"

"Well, she bears a passing, superficial resemblance, but I don't think Rachel is has the same evil quality about her."

"Really?"

"Yes. But what does that mean? She's just been maddeningly unhelpful."

"Rachel or Jennifer Lee?"

"Can you please focus?"

"Sorry. I don't know what it means. She does seem like the sort to shoot someone and kidnap his wife, but so far we have nothing to link her to it."

"Right. So when is Burton getting here?"

"This afternoon."

"Okay. I want him brought to us as soon as he arrives."

"That's the plan."

Steve and Danny were unusually silent for the rest of the drive. Neither of them had the energy for their normal back and forth and Danny wasn't entirely sure how stable Steve was. All appearances suggested that Steve was coping well, but one could never know.

When they got back to HQ, both Danny and Steve notices McKenzie's car parked on the street. They exchanged a quick glance and hurried inside.

**H-5-O**

When McKenzie arrived at the 5-0 HQ, Chin and Kono were busy going through phone records and hacking into things. She watched for a while, but couldn't make sense of anything they were doing.

"If we found anything interesting," Kono said, "you would know."

"I figured," McKenzie replied. "What are you looking for anyway?"

"Anything that connects her to Hadley," Chin said.

"You think she did it?"

Chin looked away from the computer screen at McKenzie. "Nothing else makes sense," he said.

McKenzie seemed to be thinking for a moment. Then she looked over at Kono. "That's why you're worried about Danny?" she asked.

Kono looked surprised. She was used to Chin's perceptiveness, but hadn't expected McKenzie to notice. "Yeah," she said. "If Jennifer Lee is behind this..."

"Then Danny might be next?"

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Right now, we don't know _anything_," Chin said. "We just all have to be careful."

That reminded McKenzie of her adventure earlier and she wished Steve would hurry back. She wasn't sure how he would feel about her sneaking into a crime scene and stealing a gun. Well, it wasn't technically stealing, but it could still be very bad.

It was easier to think about that rather than the fact that more people could die because she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or the right place at the right time, depending on one's perspective.


	5. When it Rains

**You may have noticed that all my chapters are song titles. Then again you may not care, but if you are interested, I put the artist at the end of the quote so you can look it up if you want. **

**Chapter Four "When It Rains"**

"_**And when it rains on this side of town it touches everything."~Paramore**_

There was tangible relief in the room when Steve and Danny got back from Jennifer Lee's house. Everyone seemed to relax knowing the five of them were all accounted for.

"Did you get anything?" Chin asked.

Danny made an indistinguishable snorting noise and Steve let that stand. No one had been expecting much more.

"We just got a call that Burton's flight has been delayed in Burbank," Kono said. "He won't be here until late tonight."

"Okay, let's forget that for now," Steve said holding up a hand. "Michelle has been missing for almost 24 hours. We need to find her. Now."

"Steve?" McKenzie said.

"Yeah?" He looked over at her.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." He gave the others a look that said, start without me, and followed McKenzie into his office. When he closed the door, she turned around and hugged him.

"Hey," he said, returning the embrace. "What is it?"

McKenzie didn't respond, but pulled away slightly and Steve felt something cold against his chest. He looked down to see McKenzie holding her father's gun against him. He could see that her eyes were red and there were tears on her face.

"What did you do?" he asked, but his voice was hardly there.

"I took it from the safe," McKenzie said in a thick voice.

"Yesterday."

She shook her head. "Today. I sneaked into the house and took it."

"Why?"

"I was scared. I wanted something better than... what did you call it?"

"A pea-shooter. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't thinking."

Steve put his hand over McKenzie's. "Okay," he said. "No one is going to care... but don't ever do that again."

"Ha. I don't plan on it."

"McKenzie, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you saw Dr. Eisner?"

"A couple weeks ago. Why?"

"Because you not thinking and sneaking into a crime scene is more than unusual."

"Point taken. I'll call him." McKenzie put the gun back in her waistband and took a step back. "You should go."

"Yeah. Hey, if you need anything, tell me this time, okay?"

"I will."

**H-5-O**

After McKenzie left, Steve asked Danny about Chin and Kono's conspicuous absence. The look in Danny's eyes was difficult to discern.

"There was a body found just a few minutes ago," he said. "They're not sure, but it looks like ours."

For a second, Steve wasn't sure if he heard right. "Wait. Michelle?"

Danny shrugged. "We'll find out."

Steve seemed to be looking past Danny for a second and then he turned and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Danny asked, struggling to keep up as they headed down the stairs. Steve didn't reply, but got into the driver's seat of Danny's car.

"You don't even know where it is," Danny said, getting in the car too.

"Then you'd better tell me," Steve said as he peeled out onto the street.

"Okay. Take a left. Now, do you want to explain why we're doing this?"

"If it's her, I want to know."

"She. If it's she. But if it's not, this was all a waste of time."

"Danny, if you don't stop correcting my grammar, I swear I will strangle you."

"Okay, but did you hear what I said?"

"I hear everything you say. This is the only thing we have right now. I can't sit around doing nothing."

"All right. See, that makes sense. Why couldn't you just say that?"

"I shouldn't have to explain everything to you. Now, where am I going?"

"Yes. You should, actually. And you'll want to make a right up here."

"It's a massive waste of time to explain everything to you because you have to disagree with everything I say."

"Didn't I say your reason made sense? That doesn't sound like disagreeing to me."

"But how often does that happen?"

"Almost never. But if you would explain yourself more often, it might."

"I highly doubt that. Besides, things work so well the way they are."

"You call that working well? You dragging me around everywhere and getting me shot at?"

"You know, you're not supposed to end sentences with prepositions."

"Actually, it is allowed when the clarity of the sentence calls for it."

"Says who?"

"You didn't go to college, so you wouldn't know."

"Did too."

"Not a normal college."

"What difference does it make?"

"I don't think Annapolis majors on the finer points of the English language."

"No. But I do speak Mandarin."

"In New Jersey, we have more use for Spanish and Italian."

"You're not in New Jersey anymore."

"Yes. Thank you for reminding me. Left at the light. We're almost there."

**H-5-O**

McKenzie sat in her car for a moment before getting out her phone and dialing the familiar number. It rang a couple of times before a woman's voice answered.

"Eisner residence."

"Lisa? It's McKenzie."

"Oh. It's so good to hear from you. Are you doing okay?"

"Sort of. Do you think I could stop by for a little while?"

"Of course. I'm sure the kids would be glad to see you. And Harry should be home soon."

"Thanks. I'll be over in a few minutes."

"All right. See you soon."

McKenzie ended the call and started her car. The drive to the Eisner's house wasn't long, which was sort of a good thing. It didn't give her too much time to think. When she arrived, Jessica and Matthew came running out of the house. They were in sixth and fourth grade, respectively, so they were in McKenzie's classes. As they walked her up to the front door where Lisa was waiting, Dr. Eisner's Prius pulled into the driveway. They all went inside and Lisa offered McKenzie some milk and cookies. She knew that was the sort of thing McKenzie would want.

McKenzie knew the Eisner's had to be curious. She was sure they would want to know if they had any idea where her mother was. But as of yet, McKenzie wasn't quite ready to volunteer anything.

Eventually, Lisa took Jessica and Matthew outside to play. McKenzie knew it was so she and the doctor could talk. And she knew it was about time.

"How have you been?" he began. His tone seemed to be requesting honesty.

"I'm not sure," McKenzie began. "Until yesterday, I thought things were going great. Then... last night I had a dream again. I haven't told anyone, but it scared me and I did some kind of stupid things today because of it."

"McKenzie, you have to understand that the death of your father is going to take a long time to heal from. Right now, you're emotions are raw and you're not sure what to think, but keeping secrets isn't going to help you."

"It's just that I always talk to Steve, and..."

"And?"

"Well, you know he lost his father. He doesn't talk about it, but I know it haunts him. And I know he wants to help me, but I hate to..."

"Bring beck memories? Yes, I know. But in order to keep your relationship as strong as it has been, you are going to have to work through this together. So, keep telling him everything and encourage him to talk to you about his own experiences."

"I know it's what I should do." McKenzie rested her chin on her fists. "But knowing how painful it is for me... I don't want to share it."

"But wouldn't he want you to?"

"Yes. Yes, I know he would."

**H-5-O**

The tires squealed as Steve came to a stop and Danny cringed. They were out of the car immediately and Kono came running up.

"Guys, it is Michelle," she said quickly, "but she's not dead."

"What?" Steve didn't mean to sound so sharp, but it was understandable.

"The person who found her thought she was, but the first responders could tell she wasn't. She's on her way to the hospital now."

"What happened?" Danny asked.

"We're not sure yet," Kono said. "And, no, I don't know how she is or how she got here."

"That's okay. I know he drives too fast."

"We're processing the scene. But someone should let McKenzie know." Kono looked at Steve.

He hesitated. "Let her know what?"

"That her mother is alive. She'll want to go to the hospital." Kono gave Steve a confused look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He walked back to the car and took out his phone. For a moment he stared at it, wondering what he was going to say. He knew he had to make the call, but he also knew he was terrible at breaking news.

Finally, he shoo his head, took a deep breath, and hit call.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie's phone rang in the middle of her conversation with Dr. Eisner and she wasn't going to answer it.

"You should get it," Eisner said. "It might be news."

She nodded and took out her phone. Seeing Steve's face on the screen, she decided answering would be a good idea.

"Yeah?" she said, releasing the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

"McKenzie," Steve said. "We've found your mom."

"What? Where? Is she okay?"

"I... we don't know. I don't have any information yet. All I know is, she's alive and being taken to the hospital."

"Okay, uh, I'll meet you there."

"Right."

McKenzie hung up slid off her chair.

"I have to go," she said.

Eisner nodded. "Let us know."

McKenzie nodded. "I will."

**H-5-O**

Steve could drive fast. He could harass doctors. That he could do.

McKenzie didn't arrive until several minutes after he did because she didn't have lights and sirens on her car. She made up for it by running up three flights of stairs faster than the elevator. When she found Steve, she noticed that he finally looked like he hadn't slept.

"What do you know?" she asked.

"Not much," Steve replied. "She was pretty bad when they found her. They might talk to you sooner than they would talk to me."

"Why?"

"Because she's your mother. I know, I'm imposing, but I've been around here enough the doctors find me annoying."

"Okay. What do I do?"

Steve sighed. "This is the hard part. We wait."

McKenzie reached for his hand and nodded. "Will you stay with me?"

Steve looked at her for a long moment. "Yeah," he finally said.


	6. Falls Apart

**Chapter Five "Falls Apart"**

"_**Seems like everything I touch falls apart when I walk away from you."~Thousand Foot Krutch**_

There seemed to be nothing to say. No one would tell McKenzie anything, and Steve seemed increasingly uncomfortable. McKenzie recalled her conversation with Dr. Eisner and the one with Danny the day before. She knew she would have to get Steve to talk. Maybe it was like ripping off a band-aid; you had to do it fast. It was easy enough to think that, but quite another matter to actually do it. The last thing she wanted to do was remind Steve of the pain of losing his father because she knew what it felt like. Their circumstances were fundamentally the same.

It came down to the fact that McKenzie could not do this by herself. She needed Steve to talk to her. However, making the decision was easier than carrying it out.

McKenzie sat up in her chair and felt dizzy. That didn't make sense. She heard voices, but they seemed far away. She caught Steve's voice saying,

"Are you okay?"

She felt his hand on her arm, but her body seemed to react without permission. Before she knew it, she was on her feet and her arm hurt. She couldn't breathe. Something touched her shoulder and everything went black.

When she opened her eyes, she was laying down on a hospital bed and she felt groggy.

"How are you feeling?" The voice was familiar, but not the one she expected.

"Chin?" she asked, turning to see him sitting in the corner of the room.

He got up and came over to the side of the bed. "Do you know what happened?"

McKenzie hesitated. "Yes. It's happened before. I forgot to take my medication."

"You're going to be fine, just a little bruise on your arm. The doctor said you could leave when you woke up, and Dr. Eisner is on his way here."

"Did they give me something? I feel like I can't wake up."

"Yes. They sedated you. It should wear off soon."

McKenzie looked around the room. There was something else she wanted to know, but she was almost afraid to ask.

"Where is Steve?" she finally said.

"When they told him you would be okay, he decided to go back to work. But he thought you might want to wake up to a friendly face." Chin smiled.

McKenzie nodded. She didn't really understand though. She decided to change the subject. "Have you heard anything about my mom?"

Chin shook his head. "They're still working on her. That's all I know."

Finally, McKenzie was able to sit up. The drugs seemed to be dissipating.

"I need to go home," she said.

"You want me to give you a ride?" Chin asked.

"No. It's fine. You should get back to work too."

"You're sure?"

"Positive." McKenzie exhaled sharply. "I have to talk to Dr. Eisner anyway."

**H-5-O **

Steve looked up from his desk when someone came into the room.

"We found something," Kono said.

"What?" Steve asked, standing and coming around the desk.

Kono held up a plastic bag with a piece of paper in it. "It's addressed to you."

Steve took it and saw his name at the top in Michelle's handwriting.

"She must have thought she was going to die," Kono said.

"Thank you," Steve said.

Kono took the hint and left him alone. Steve looked at the note. Upon inspection, he discovered it was written on the back of a crumpled receipt. As he read it, he felt a strange tightness in his chest.

_Dear Steve, _

_I will probably never see you or McKenzie again, so I want to say goodbye. I want you to know how much Jim and I loved you. You were like a son to us and we know you will take good care of our daughter. I know you will want to find the people who hurt us. All I can tell you is there was a woman with dark hair and two young men. I'm sorry I couldn't do better. _

_Michelle_

Steve dropped the note on his desk. Michelle was alive, he had to keep reminding himself. As long as she was, he could ignore the nagging thought that these might be her last words. He couldn't accept that. Not only was it not fair, it was just too ironic. Jim and Michelle had both said something about taking care of McKenzie.

But at that moment, Steve didn't feel particularly capable of taking care of anyone.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie met Dr. Eisner in the waiting room once she was released. They decided to go find a coffee shop and talk. Caffeine was sounding heavenly to McKenzie.

When they got their coffee and found a seat, Eisner got right down to business.

"You're quiet," he said.

"I'm always quiet," McKenzie replied.

"You know evasion is not going to help."

"I forgot my medication. I realize it was stupid, but what can I do about it now?"

"Something else is bothering you."

"A lot of things."

"That's perfectly understandable, but you're not usually this... antagonistic."

McKenzie thought about that. "I haven't been myself."

"Yes. But that has never manifested itself in anger. In fact, I can't recall you ever being seriously angry."

"I... I don't think I can explain this to you."

"Why?"

"Because it would sound stupid. I'm not that..." McKenzie seemed to be grasping for something. "Controlling," she finally said. "I shouldn't be angry, is what I'm saying."

"I see."

"You do?"

"Yes. At first I thought it had something to do with your mother, but now I see. I did notice his absence."

"But I'm being ridiculous."

Dr. Eisner tilted his head. "Not really. What exactly is it that upsets you?"

"I... I don't know how to describe it."

Eisner nodded thoughtfully and didn't say anything.

McKenzie stood up. "I have to go home. And then I have to have a conversation that I am _not_ looking forward to."

"It's best to get it out," Eisner said.

"Yeah, well. I guess we'll see."

**H-5-O**

Deep down, Steve was an optimist in a pathetic sort of way. When McKenzie showed up in his office, he foolishly hoped she just wanted company.

"Hey," he said.

McKenzie didn't reply and Steve didn't look at her. He didn't want to see whatever revealing expression she was wearing. It was weak, but in the moment, he didn't recognize it.

"I don't want to have this conversation," McKenzie said.

"Which conversation?" Steve asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"The one we're about to have."

"Are you a psychic now?"

"This isn't funny."

"I didn't say it was."

"You—rrr." McKenzie bit her tongue.

Steve finally looked at her. He got up and came around the desk. "What?" he asked.

"Are you mad at me?"

"What? Why?"

"It only seems fair."

"What for?"

"I don't know. I was just asking."

Steve hesitated. "You're mad at me?"

McKenzie looked him in the eye. "Yes," she said in a small voice.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Not staying with you."

McKenzie shook her head. "It's why you didn't stay."

Steve ran a hand through his hair. "I had to do something."

"Well, that's nice for you, but what about me?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You get to hide in this office, chase after criminals, and generally bury anything painful... but I don't." McKenzie took a step closer to Steve. "I feel everything." She held out her delicate, white hands. "I feel my father's life slipping through my fingers and I know you feel it too."

Steve stared at McKenzie's hands as if the blood were still covering them.

"I don't get to pretend this never happened," McKenzie said, dropping her arms to her sides. "With my fractured mind I can't compartmentalize like you can... but I also can't do this alone."

The implications of what she was saying finally sunk in. Steve knew what he had to do. He'd known before, but he hadn't realized how impossible it would seem.

He finally knew what he had to say to make everything sort of okay. That was when McKenzie's phone rang. She looked at the screen and her eyes widened.

"Who is it?" Steve asked.

"Just a minute." She answered the call. "Hello?... Don't call me that... What do you want?... You know what, I can't deal with this right now. We haven't made plans. I'll... let you know, okay... No. Not now, please." She hung up. "Sorry about that."

"Who was it?" Steve asked with concern in his voice.

"I... I can't have this conversation right now."

Steve wanted to press, but he remembered that there was some other unfinished business to attend to. "About what you said," he began.

"Yeah?"

"You're not alone. I messed up; I know that. But it won't happen again. As hard as this is for me, losing you would be worse."

McKenzie wrapped her arms around him. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. They stayed like that for a long time before McKenzie's said,

"I should go."

"Where?" Steve asked.

"Mom might wake up within the next couple of hours and I want to be there if she does."

"Okay. You want me to go with you?"

"No. You should actually get to work. Isn't that priest guy getting here soon?"

"Yeah. Just... let me know if you need anything."

McKenzie pulled away and looked Steve in the eye. "You know I will."

They kissed briefly and McKenzie left. Steve stared at the door long after she was gone, wondering how he was going to cope with the memories of his father's death and who was on the phone with McKenzie.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie heard the words the doctor was saying but somehow, they didn't compute. Her mother was alive, awake. But still the doctor said,

"The best we can do is make her comfortable."

"W—what does that mean?" McKenzie asked in a breathy voice.

"Her injuries are too extensive; there is no way we can repair all the damage without killing her."

"So what's going to happen?"

"She will live for a few more hours, probably. Then she'll slip away. We've given her plenty of painkillers, so she won't feel a thing. You can go in and talk to her if you like."

McKenzie nodded and stared down the hallway toward her mother's room. This couldn't be happening. Not when she'd just gotten her back.

The doctor disappeared and McKenzie heard a vaguely familiar voice say,

"Macks?"

She turned to see an even less familiar face. She tried to remember the last time she'd seen him, but it wasn't a happy memory.

"Kyle?" she said.

He gave an awkward smile, and brushed his reddish-brow hair out of his dark blue eyes. "Do I at least get a hug?" he asked.

McKenzie shook her head and turned to walk down the hall. She would deal with him later. Right now, she wanted her last moments with her mom. A sob escaped her lips as she reached the door of Michelle's room. McKenzie wiped her eyes and pushed the door open. Her mother didn't need to know what was going on. She wouldn't be around long enough for it to matter.


	7. Field of Daggers

**I'm on a roll! Two updates in two days! Hopefully I'll stay motivated and write quicklly from now on. Maybe not this quickly though. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. I do so love them. **

**Chapter Six "Field of Daggers"**

"_**In this unending war, I've lost so many brothers; the coldest hours come before morning."~House of Heroes**_

When Herman Burton arrived, everyone gathered in the main room. He didn't really look like a cult leader. For his age, he was extremely fit and he seemed to have dropped the Cosmic Humanist lingo. Still, everyone was surprised when he slapped a badge on the table.

"I'm sorry for the ruse," he said. "I've been undercover for years on this case."

"Wait a second," Danny said. "There's a case?"

Burton nodded. "Hadley was our target. When you contacted me about the murders here, I gave you his name, knowing he was responsible. He's been connected to several murders and other acts of violence in Chicago in the last ten years. There were never any witnesses. No live ones anyway."

"But Hadley's dead now," Chin said. "Who else was involved with him?"

"That's the trouble. He went through associates faster than than victims. No one stayed around long enough to get anything substantial on him."

"So, Detective..." Steve looked at the man's badge. "Beckett, what can you tell us?"

"That Hadley was a radical. I mean, I'd never heard of a radical animist before, but he was. Anyone who didn't believe what he did was considered an enemy."

"That's a lot of people," Danny said.

"Indeed. He mostly went after those who opposed him or people with drastically different beliefs. The whole reason I took this case was because he murdered my daughter ten years ago. She was evangelizing with her youth group and she went to his house. The boy who was with her was killed too."

"That's terrible," Kono said. "How did you get on the case?"

"It was over a year later. The DA's case against Hadley fell through, so Chicago PD started looking for other ways to get a conviction. I volunteered for the job. Alice was all I had after my wife died a few years before. I had nothing to lose."

"So what do you know about Jennifer Lee?" Steve asked.

Beckett rubbed his chin. "She was distant whenever I met her. If she was involved with Hadley, she never let on. She seemed to regard the whole thing with skepticism."

"She told us she didn't know anything about the cult," Danny said.

"Strange. Why would she lie?"

"We were hoping you would know," Chin said.

"I haven't had many dealings with her. In the morning, you should be receiving all my files from Chicago."

"Okay, we'll bring you up to date on our investigation then," Steve said. "Do you have a ride to your hotel?"

"Yes. Thank you. I hope I can help here."

As Beckett left, Steve watched him carefully. "Check on his story," he said.

"You got it, boss," Kono said.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie folded her hands under her chin and stared into her mother's face. Michelle's usually vibrant appearance was gone as she struggled to breathe.

"It'll be over soon," McKenzie said.

Michelle's eyes filled with sympathy. "I'll always be a part of you, baby," she said. "I'm so proud of you."

McKenzie nodded, sniffling. "I know, Mom... How am I going to live without you?"

"I know it hurts. But you have so many people around to help. You have a good man who loves you."

McKenzie wiped away more tears. "Yeah, but this is hard on him too. I'm afraid of what might happen when you're gone."

"Don't be." Michelle shook her head. "Steve will always do what's best for you. He'll stick with you no matter what."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because he loves you. I know saying that doesn't seem like much in today's world, but he really loves you."

McKenzie nodded. "You're right. I know you are."

"As always."

McKenzie allowed herself a small smile. Then she became serious again. She didn't want to tell her mother who was in the waiting room, but she also wanted to know what to do about him.

"Mom, what should I do about... about Kyle?" she finally asked.

Michelle's mouth set in a firm line. "Keep trying," she finally said in a hoarse voice. "Don't ever give up."

"Okay." McKenzie nodded. "I'll have to tell Steve."

"You haven't?"

"No. That's the one thing."

"He'll understand."

"You know, I think he will."

Michelle held out her hand and McKenzie took it. They sat like that for several minutes, not saying anything, until Michelle's breathing slowed.

"I love you baby," she said.

McKenzie choked back a sob. "I love you, Mom."

"Tell Steve... I love him too... Your dad shipped the Jeep over for him."

"What?"

"He wanted it to be a surprise. For a wedding or something."

McKenzie put her hands over her mouth. She thought of how her parents had accepted Steve into their family with open arms. She knew the gift would mean a lot to him.

"Mom," McKenzie said, "he loves you too."

"I know, baby... If you ever hear from K—Kyle, tell him I love him. I always loved him."

"I will." McKenzie's voice was a whisper.

"The term has ended; this is the morning."

McKenzie gasped at the reference to _The Last Battle_. Then Michelle's grip on her daughter's hand loosened and she slipped slowly into unconsciousness. The steady _beep beep_ of the heart monitor got faster and faster until it was constant. McKenzie leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. It was over.

**H-5-O**

Steve tossed his phone onto his desk. Mostly because he was afraid he would crush it or throw it against the wall. Part of him had known this was coming, but another part fought it, tooth and nail. And it was the latter part that was winning out just then.

He had to pull himself together. He had to get to the hospital for McKenzie. But as he tread to steady his breathing, he found that it was only getting worse. The clamp around his heart seemed to be tightening and it was a relief to allow a few tears to slip out.

Michelle was dead. The only mother Steve had had in his life in eighteen years was gone. And at the moment, the woman he loved was facing that on her own.

That thought made him spring into action. He pushed down his own grief for the moment and grabbed his phone and keys. He knew the others had been informed of the same news, so he didn't bother telling them where he was going.

Even with his questionable driving, Steve felt as if it took forever to get to the hospital. When he finally reached the waiting room, McKenzie was sitting with her head resting on her hands. There was another man sitting close to her, but Steve ignore him.

McKenzie got up when she saw Steve and hurried over to him. They didn't say anything, but retreated to the safety of each other's arms. And for a long time, they stayed like that until someone cleared his throat.

McKenzie turned around, still keeping one arm around Steve. The other man in the waiting room was now standing, staring at the two of them.

"Who's this?" he asked.

McKenzie took a deep breath. "Kyle, this is Steve McGarrett. Steve, Kyle Carpenter... My brother."

Steve stared, wide-eyed at McKenzie, trying to understand what she had said. It did not make sense.

"You said you didn't have any other family," he finally said.

"Practically speaking," McKenzie said. "I don't. It's a long story that I don't feel like telling here."

"Okay. I'll take you home." Steve glanced briefly at Kyle.

"He's not staying with me," McKenzie clarified.

Steve nodded and the two of them left the waiting room. As the they headed for the car, McKenzie began telling her story.

"I haven't seen him since I was about five," she said. "He's a lot older than me and when he was a teenager, he got into a lot of trouble. He was in and out of juvenile detention from the time he was about thirteen. Mom and Dad tried to help him turn his life around, but he wouldn't. They finally decided they weren't going to bail him out anymore. He was angry and hasn't spoken to us since. He lived in Portland or Salem, I don't remember. I think he did time for petty crimes or something. And before you ask, I never told you because we _never_ talk about him. My parents were devastated when he left."

Steve opened the door and they stepped out into the cool night.

"I understand," he said. "It was him on the phone?"

"Yeah. I recognized the number because we try to call him once a year. That was the last number we had for him."

"So why is he here now?"

"I'm hoping he's here because our parents are dead. I don't want to think about the alternative."

Steve nodded, opening the passenger door of his truck. If Kyle were there for any other purpose, he would find out and protect McKenzie if necessary.

**H-5-O**

When Steve left McKenzie's apartment, her car was sitting outside. He immediately scanned the area and one shadow against the building seemed out of place.

"What kind of criminal would I be if I couldn't hot-wire a car?" Kyle asked.

"Using your powers for good?" Steve said.

"Something like that."

Steve crossed his arms. "Why are you here?"

"Here on the sidewalk or here in Hawaii?"

"Both."

"Okay, I thought Macks might want her car, so I brought it to her. And I'm sure you are aware of the fact that my parents were murdered."

Steve nodded. "Is that all?"

"All? Do I need some other reason?"

"You haven't seen your family in almost twenty years."

"I am well aware of that. And I can't stay long either. I guess I just came to say goodbye."

Steve thought of how his sister missed their father's funeral. Kyle was there at least. Steve wasn't sure if that were a good thing or not.

"I know what you're thinking," Kyle said. "The prodigal son wants to cash in after his parents die. I can assure you I won't be around long enough for that."

"Then why'd you come at all?" Steve asked. "It seems to me you're doing more harm than good."

"Look, I know McKenzie is never going to forgive me. I guess I should have left her alone."

"Have you asked her?"

"What?"

"To forgive you."

"No. I've hardly talked to her."

"You'll never know until you ask."

"I would think you would be the one telling me to stay away from her."

"Look Kyle, I don't like you very much for obvious reasons, but you are the only family McKenzie has. All I'm saying is, you should try to make things right."

"It's not that easy."

"I didn't say it was. You abandoned your family; there is no context in which that is okay. That doesn't preclude you from apologizing anyway."

"I guess you're right. I just don't want to make things worse."

Steve looked up at McKenzie's window. "I'm pretty sure she's still up. Just be honest and don't make excuses. If she forgives you, great, if not, you haven't lost anything."

Kyle nodded and smiled halfheartedly. He headed for the door of the apartment building.

"Hey, Kyle," Steve said, as he was about to go in.

"Yeah?"

"You do anything remotely illegal while you're on this island, I will arrest your ass and enjoy it."

"You got it... we'll forget about the car, right?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, Steve."


	8. Last Second Chance

**I realize that I misquoted Lewis in the last chapter. The actual words are: "the dream has ended: this is the morning." I thought I corrected it, but I didn't. **

**Chapter Seven "Last Second Chance"**

"_**She's holding to the one who lives to rescue... Come on and get up; here comes another round; it's all come down to your last second chance."~This Beautiful Republic**_

"_Daddy, where's Kyle?" the little girl asked, looking up at her father with wide eyes. _

_Jim returned her gaze, his green eyes filled with pain the naive child couldn't see. "He had to go away for a while," Jim said. _

"_Where?"_

"_He's getting help, Macks. You know your brother's been in trouble, right?" _

"_Yeah... when will he be back. He was going to take me fishing." _

"_I don't know, baby."_

"_Does he still love me?"_

"_Of course he does."_

"_Then why did he go away?" McKenzie's voice was accusing._

"_I don't know, baby. All I know is he'll never stop loving you, okay?"_

_McKenzie wrapped her small arms around her father's waist. "I miss him."_

_Jim returned the hug. "You and me both, kid."_

McKenzie sat up in bed. She knew reliving memories was a result of PTSD, but she didn't think Kyle had anything to do with her trauma. Maybe it started years ago and she just never realized it.

With a soft groan, McKenzie got out of bed. For a second she wondered why she bothered, but then she realized she was hungry and no amount of misery would change that.

After starting the coffee maker, McKenzie headed to the door to get her newspaper. She wasn't sure why she even got the paper; she only read the comics. However when she opened the door, something else grabbed her attention. Next to her door, Kyle was sleeping in the hallway. McKenzie wondered whether she should be surprised.

"Hey," she said, loud enough to wake him.

"Hey," Kyle replied in a sleep heavy voice. "Guess I fell asleep."

"Why were you in the hallway?"

"Well, I was going to talk to you, but I sat down to think first... then I fell asleep."

"You can sleep anywhere, can't you?"

"You remember? You could too when you were little."

"Yeah... So, you want to come in, or what?"

"If you don't mind."

Kyle got up and followed McKenzie inside. She offered him a cup of coffee and started some toast.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked, as Kyle sat down at the counter.

"I'm not sure how to say it," he replied. "I mean, I'm probably the last person in the world you want to see."

"Probably," McKenzie agreed. "But you're here, so..."

"I'm sorry," Kyle said, finally looking her in the eye. "It doesn't make anything better, but I'm sorry. And I don't expect you to forgive me because I don't deserve it, but I needed to tell you."

McKenzie turned her back to Kyle as she buttered the toast. She wasn't sure what to do about this declaration. She didn't want him to think she hated him, nor did she want to give the impression that everything was okay.

Finally, she sighed and turned to face him. "I don't trust you, Kyle. I want to... but right now, I can't."

He nodded. "Yeah. I understand."

McKenzie passed him a plate. "Mom said to tell you she always loved you."

Kyle's eyes clouded. "She did?"

"Yeah. Did you think she didn't?"

"No, I... I'm just surprised she would say that."

"Why?"

"Because... I know how much I hurt them. I know they tried to forget about me."

McKenzie shook her head. "They didn't. They never talked about it, but you know they always tried to contact you."

"So did you, sometimes."

"Yeah. I wanted to be as strong as them. I thought... I don't know what I thought. That maybe one more message on your phone would make a difference."

"It did. I know you don't believe that, but it did. I couldn't say my family didn't love me. I couldn't blame anyone but myself. Everything I did was my choice."

"I want to ask why... But I don't want to know, do I?"

"I don't know. There isn't a real reason anyway. Pride, I guess. Habit." Kyle munched on the toast, not really tasting it. "Anyway, your boyfriend seems nice."

"He does?"

"Yeah, I mean, he did threaten to arrest me if I did anything else illegal."

"Anything _else_?"

"I sort of brought your car back last night. But he was very nice about it."

"I think he's lulling you into a false sense of security."

"Anyway, how did you meet?"

"Are you actually asking me that?"

"Sorry, I haven't seen you in twenty years. My baby sister is all grown up and I want to know what's going on."

McKenzie bit her lip. "Witness protection," she finally said.

"What?"

"I witnessed a quadruple homicide and the guy wanted to kill me. Steve was assigned to protect me."

"Sounds like a bad movie."

"Yeah, well, that's how my life has been lately."

"So you guys are pretty serious?"

"Why?"

"I don't know... He seems kind of old for you."

"First of all, you don't get to judge my life. Second, he's younger than you."

"I didn't mean it to sound that way. I was just curious."

McKenzie sighed. She could understand that. As much as Kyle didn't deserve to know, she knew he still wanted to.

"Steve's thirty-four," she finally said. "That's ten years older than me. It doesn't matter. Guys my age are stupid anyway."

"True." Kyle nodded. "Like I said, he seems like a good guy. I bet Mom and Dad liked him."

"They loved him. He was like family to them. Dad... was going to give him the Jeep."

"_The_ Jeep? Willy? Where is it anyway?"

"Last I knew, it was still in Medford. Mom said he had it shipped here, so I'll have to figure that out."

"I wish I could stay and help you sort everything out."

"You can't?"

"I'm trying to be responsible, Macks. I have to report to my parole officer on Friday. I just wanted to come down for a few days. Say goodbye and all."

"Don't call me that... Say goodbye to whom?"

"Mom and Dad. They deserve that much. I... I'd come back and see you... if you want me to."

"I don't know." McKenzie rubbed her forehead. "But I'll let you know when I do."

**H-5-O**

"Beckett checks out," Danny said, when everyone was gathered in the main room of HQ. "He'll be here in a few minutes."

"Good," Steve said. "I'm seeing an angle here."

"What's that?" Kono asked.

"Our suspect thinks Beckett is a cult leader. He knows she is aware of her husband's involvement, so she won't be able to lie to him. We might be able to get something valuable by sending him to talk to her."

"Won't she be suspicious?" Chin asked.

"Not if he's a good actor," Steve said.

"I was Hamlet in college," Beckett said, coming into the room. "I got very good reviews."

"That's funny," Danny said. "I was Hamlet once too."

"You were Hamlet?" Steve asked.

"I believe I just said that."

"It's just, you seem like more of a Horatio to me, or Laertes."

"Have you even read the play?"

"You'd never know."

"You mean you can BS enough that people think you've read it?"

"It sounds so wrong when you say it that way."

"So what is my role this time?" Beckett asked.

"This is easy," Steve replied. "We need you to go talk to Jennifer Lee. See if you can figure out why she lied to us."

"Getting her to talk might be difficult. She probably knows I'm working with you."

"So she knows her story won't hold," Danny said. "She might try to explain herself. And if she gives us another story full of holes, we'll have something to go on."

"I'll see what I can do," Beckett said. "But if she was Hadley's accomplice and she thinks I'm getting too close, my life might not be worth much."

"You'll take Chin with you," Steve said. "And wear a wire. If anything goes wrong, he'll be there."

"So what are we doing?" Kono asked.

"Going over the old case files," Steve replied. "The more we know about these people, the more likely we are to catch them."

"Okay, your holiness," Chin said, "let's go."

Beckett made a face at him. "You know I'm going to practice getting into character on you now."

The two of them left, laughing as they went and Steve started digging through the case files on the table.

"What are you thinking, boss?" Kono asked.

Steve rubbed his jaw as he flipped through papers. "It's been three months," he said. "Why wait that long?"

"Maybe they wanted to plan it just right."

"Yeah. Or they knew that Kyle Carpenter got out of prison two weeks ago."

"Who?" Danny said.

"McKenzie's brother. Long story. He got here yesterday."

"McKenzie has a brother? When did this happen?"

"According to his records, nineteen-seventy-three."

"That is not what I meant."

"He was estranged from the family almost twenty years ago. That isn't the point. He was in prison in Portland until two weeks ago. Maybe whoever killed their parents knew that."

"It's a bit far-fetched," Kono said. "Why would it matter?"

"He's a criminal. If their out for revenge, they could use him against McKenzie."

"Yeah, but if that's really what we're talking about, they're probably out to get Danny too."

"Thank you," Danny said. "It's so nice to be reminded."

"Don't worry, Danno," Steve said. "We'll protect you."

**H-5-O**

Kyle was flipping his phone back and forth in his hands when it started ringing. McKenzie was busy doing the dishes, so he answered it.

"Yeah?" he said. The response made him cold. "Who is this?" he demanded. "Yeah, who you are does matter... What do you want?... No, wait a second. I... Okay, okay. I'll be there."

"What was that?" McKenzie asked when he hung up.

"Oh, nothing," Kyle lied smoothly from years of practice. "Just some old buddies harassing me."

McKenzie nodded and didn't ask any more questions. She really wasn't interested in her brother's friends.

"So what are you thinking?" Kyle asked.

"Huh?" McKenzie replied.

"About the funeral. What do you want to do?"

McKenzie rubbed the side of her face, then clasped her hands under her chin. "I don't know. I... think we have to wait for the ME to be finished. I don't know how long that will be."

"Guess you could ask super-cop."

"That would be Danny. Steve's not a cop."

"What? Okay, who's Danny and how is Steve not a cop?"

"Danny is Steve's partner. He's a detective from New Jersey. Steve is a SEAL. In the reserves."

"Wow. Leave it to you."

"What?"

"To get in with that crowd."

"What, because I was so desperate not to be like you?"

"If I didn't know better... No. You were always good. And I don't mean that in a snide way or anything. You love the heroes... It's just sometimes they fall."


	9. The Truth

**Chapter Eight "The Truth"**

"_**Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down. Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now. While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin', the walls we built together tumblin', I still stand here holdin' up the roof, 'cause it's easier than tellin' the truth."~Kris Allen**_

"So when did you find out about this Kyle person?" Danny asked. Kono had gone to get lunch and Steve was sitting at his desk, looking particularly official.

"Yesterday," Steve replied, not looking at Danny.

"Yesterday?" Danny raised his eyebrows. "She didn't tell you before?"

"They never talked about him."

"So what did he do?"

"You mean what didn't he do?" Steve looked up. "That list would be shorter."

"Okay."

"He never killed anyone." Steve turned back to the files on his desk. "No treason or acts of terrorism. He might have even paid his taxes."

"So how long has he been in prison?"

"Off and on since he was thirteen. McKenzie said the last time she saw him she was five. That would have made him eighteen."

"I think until then, it would have been juvenile corrections."

"Same thing."

"To an upstanding ninja like yourself."

"Yeah. Maybe I'm a little judgmental."

"Hardly. He sounds like a real piece of work. It's hard to believe they're related."

"No. It's actually pretty common. Good family, rebellious son. You should know."

Danny bit his lip. "Yeah." He looked down at his hands. "You want me to talk to her?"

"I'll let you know. I sent him to apologize last night. We'll see how that goes."

"You _sent_ him?"

"I'm very convincing. He wanted to anyway. That's why I let him, actually."

"'Cause you would have stopped him?"

Steve met Danny's eyes. "If I felt it necessary."

Danny nodded. "Guess McKenzie would have been pretty upset."

"She was. She wouldn't even talk to him at the hospital."

"I wouldn't have either."

"You haven't even met him."

"I don't have to. If Matt were to come back after twenty years, I would be calling the FBI, not having a family reunion."

"But if he decided to make things right, you would forgive him, wouldn't you."

"I don't know. I guess... That's not likely to happen anytime soon though."

Kono came back with lunch which the three of them ate in silence. She wondered what the other two had been talking about, but didn't ask. She could see from their expressions it wasn't a conversation they wanted to continue.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie put her car in park and turned off the engine. She looked out at the waves crashing into the shore and running back out to sea again. Getting out of the car, she could smell the warm saltiness and feel the pounding in her ears. Her reverie was cut short by the sound of the other door closing and Kyle taking a deep breathe.

"It's really beautiful here," he said, almost as if he hadn't thought it would be.

"Not Cannon Beach," McKenzie said, "but it'll do."

"A lot warmer, I imagine."

McKenzie tried to bite back a grin. "A lot," she said and headed down to the sand.

Kyle followed close behind her, imagining nothing was wrong and they were just a brother and sister enjoying a day at the beach. As long as he didn't look McKenzie in the eye or hear her voice, he could keep up the fantasy. The thing he wanted most to be true was the lie that he would be there for McKenzie. Because he would have to leave, and probably wouldn't make it back for a long time. But he realized that that might be a good thing. It might very well be better for her if he disappeared.

"Kyle!"

He looked up to his sister's voice and saw her standing at the water's edge, motioning for him to follow. He pushed aside his worries for the moment. McKenzie deserved a day where nothing went wrong. So, he ran to her, splashing up water around their legs. Without thinking, he just kept running, pulling McKenzie into the waves with him. They went under, and for one beautiful moment, their hands were clasped together and the sun was reflecting off the surface above them.

McKenzie pulled away from her brother and as they surfaced, he saw a sad, distant look in her eyes.

"You okay, Macks?" he asked.

She only nodded and started swimming for the shore, not even bothering to tell him not to call her "Macks."

**H-5-O**

When Chin and Beckett returned they looked a little worse for the wear and they were herding along a young man in handcuffs.

"I think we found one of our masked men," Chin said. "He tried to take out Beckett as he was leaving."

Steve nodded, seeming almost happy. "What's his story?"

"Doesn't know Jennifer Lee and she doesn't know him. I figure you would want to talk to him while he still had teeth in his mouth, so I didn't go any further with the interrogation."

"Good call," Steve said, with a hint of a smirk. "You all right, Beckett?"

"Oh, yes," Beckett replied. "The kid was making a lot of noise. Probably never killed anyone before."

"We'll see."

Steve took the boy to the interrogation room and sat him down.

"Look, man, I don't know anything," he said.

"Let's start with your name," Steve said.

There was a pause, as if he were trying to decide whether to tell the truth or not. "Rex Rossi. And, yeah, I've got a record, so you don't have to bother asking any more of those questions."

"Okay, why were you trying to kill Detective Beckett?"

"Detective? No, I was after a guy called Burton."

"Why?"

"Just following orders."

"Whose orders?"

"I already said, I don't know _anything_."

Steve rolled his eyes, then in one swift move, dragged Rex out of the chair and pinned him to the wall. As his fingers tightened around the kid's throat Steve said,

"You are going to tell me what I want to know, or I am going to kill you and I will not lose a night's sleep over it."

He threw Rex to the floor, not bothering to mention that he hadn't really been sleeping lately anyway. Steve grabbed Rex by the shirt collar and put him back in his seat.

"You were saying?" he asked.

"Okay," Rex began, breathing hard. "I never saw her face."

"Who?"

"I don't know! She always talked in a real low voice and never took off her mask. She said we had to send a message for what that chick did to Arnold."

Steve bit down on his tongue and tasted blood. "So you killed them?"

"What? No, I didn't kill anybody. _She _shot the guy, but she said he'd live. Same with the lady. I mean, we beat her up, but she was alive when we left her."

"James and Michelle Carpenter are dead. So either you're lying to me or someone's making an ass out of you."

"They're dead? No, that wasn't the plan. I mean, she wanted to kill the other guy. The one who was protecting the girl. But she wanted to scare everyone first."

Steve hesitated, with the realization that he was the actual target. "What about Beckett?" he finally said.

"I got a call that this guy needed to be taken out. Said he was the face of the enemy."

"Who called you?"

"The woman. Look, I don't know who she is, okay? I think she might have been Arnold's girlfriend, but I don't know."

"So you were a follower of Arnold Hadley? You ever hear of Alice Beckett?"

"No."

"She was one of his first victims. A sixteen-year-old girl, going door to door with her youth group. She and her friend Ben were murdered after they visited Arnold Hadley. I guess they were the 'face of the enemy' too, huh?"

"I don't know anything about that."

"But you know Hadley killed anyone who got in his way?"

"Yeah. That's why he was here. Lee and his pals were trying to propagate their wishy-washy crap and he wanted to stop them."

"Did you come with him?"

"No. I came down a few weeks ago with my partner for this job."

"Who's your partner?"

"What, so you can go arrest him too? I don't think so."

"Or I could throw you out the window. Your choice."

"You can't actually do that."

"Yes. I can."

"Look, neither of us killed anyone."

"You beat Michelle Carpenter to death!"

"We didn't mean to!"

"That is hardly the point. You kidnapped and killed her. Now I want all the names you can think of. Everyone involved in this."

In the end, Rex gave up his conspirators. It turned out he was at the bottom of the food-chain anyway and would probably be killed for even telling Steve what he had, so spending the rest of his life in jail didn't sound so bad.

But they still didn't know who the woman was.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie sat in the sand, staring out at the water, where her brother stood up to his knees. This hadn't been how she had planned the day to go. But at the moment, she couldn't look him in the eye. She wasn't sure what it was that bothered her, but something was wrong. Very wrong.

Eventually, Kyle made his way back up the beach and sat down beside McKenzie. For a minute, he didn't say anything, and she was grateful. But the silence didn't last.

"I'm sorry," Kyle said.

"For what?" McKenzie asked.

"I don't know. Pretending everything was okay."

"Were you?"

"Yeah. It was nice for a minute. It was like when we used to go fishing."

McKenzie felt a lump rise in her throat. Fishing. That was the last promise Kyle had broken. The one she never forgot. Fishing on the Rogue. She hadn't been fishing since he left.

When the day started off, McKenzie thought she was doing well. She felt like he might be able to forgive and move on. She believed Kyle wanted to do the right thing now. But that one lie. What was it about that particular lie?

McKenzie knew it wasn't just fishing. It was all the things they would have done after that. All the times he would have been there for her when she needed him, but wasn't.

And now, it was the fact that he wanted to be her brother again, and she just wasn't ready for that.

"I love you, Kyle," she said through tears. "I thought I could forgive you. Dad always said you still loved me, but I never believed him. Not really."

"McKenzie." Kyle reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled away. "I do love you. I was stupid and selfish, but that never changed."

"I know. I thought once it would have been easier to hate you, but it wouldn't have hurt if I hated you. You can only hurt people who love you."

"I don't plan on doing that ever again."

"'The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry'."

"I'm not going to let myself hurt you again, Macks. I'd rather die."

"Don't say that." McKenzie's voice was hardly there. As much as she always felt like she had no brother, she felt even more like she had no parents. As long as Kyle was alive, there was a chance they could work things out. Maybe not much of one, but it was there.


	10. How to Save a Life

**Chapter Nine "How to Save a Life"**

"_**He will do one of two things: he will admit to everything, or he'll say he's just not the same, and you'll begin to wonder why you came."~The Fray**_

Late Sunday afternoon, with the help of HPD, 5-0 had arrested everyone Rex Rossi said was involved with Hadley. Beckett helped with processing and questioning them. They were still trying to find out who the elusive woman was and where to find her.

"Someone has got to know who she is," Steve said as he came back to the main room after another interrogation.

"Don't _we_ know who she is?" Danny said.

"We think we do," Kono said. "But we have nothing solid to connect her."

Steve rubbed his forehead, his face scrunching.

"You were very impressive," Danny said.

"What?" Steve asked.

"You didn't kill a single person today. I'm proud of you."

"If you're not careful, I'll strangle you."

"You'd have to go through her first." Danny motioned toward Kono.

Steve looked at her for a second, then waved dismissively. "It's not worth it."

"Good choice, boss," Kono said.

"Has anyone heard from Max yet?"

"He called a little while ago," Chin said. "He wants to see you."

"Of course he does. Why can't that man use a phone?"

"He doesn't trust them, remember?" Danny said.

"All right, Danny you go see what he has to say. I'm going to find out about the house."

"Sure." Danny looked over at Kono. "You want to come?"

"Go ahead," Steve told her. "I think we're gonna call it a day here."

Kono got an evil look in her eyes. "I'm gonna put my feet on the dashboard."

Steve looked confused and Danny started laughing. No one bothered to explain and Danny and Kono left.

"Don't ask me, brah," Chin said, when Steve gave him a curious look. "Since those two got together, they've invented more inside jokes..."

"Yeah," Steve said. "See you tomorrow."

"Yep. Hey, Beckett, you hungry?"

**H-5-O**

"Who was on the phone?" McKenzie asked after Kyle finished yet another tense conversation.

"No one," Kyle lied again.

"So you were talking to yourself?"

"No... It's nothing you need to worry about."

McKenzie let it go. She knew she should probably keep asking, but she didn't really care to know. She wanted it to be nothing. If she didn't make a big deal of it, maybe it would be.

When her own phone rang, McKenzie jumped. She had been so deep in thought that the welcome noise was startling.

"Hey, what's up?" she answered.

"Hey. I got the house cleared," Steve said. "And Danny and Kono are going over to talk to Max, so we should have word on that soon too."

"Great. You want us to meet you over there?"

"Is Kyle with you?"

"Yeah. He ended up falling asleep in the hallway last night."

"Sounds like there's more to that story. I'll see you in a few minutes, then?"

"Yeah. I love you."

"I love you too."

McKenzie hung up and turned to Kyle. "We can go in the house now," she said.

"Oh," Kyle replied. "That was quick."

"That's kind of how they operate." McKenzie pulled on her shorts, t-shirt, and flip-flops, brushing off sand as she went. "The house isn't far from here, so we can just go straight there."

Kyle followed her back to the car and they soon arrived at their parents home. The sun was starting to go down as they pulled up. The neighborhood was quiet as it always was. Things seemed just a little too normal with the absence of caution tape.

Steve's dark blue pick-up pulled up shortly after McKenzie and Kyle arrived. The three of them stood out on the sidewalk. Steve handed McKenzie the keys. She took them without a word and headed up the sidewalk.

Steve looked over at Kyle who seemed to be trying to decide whether to follow her or not.

"What happened last night," Steve asked.

Kyle shrugged. "I sat down to think. Then I fell asleep."

"So she found you in the morning?"

"Yeah. Then we had toast. I'm sure she'll tell you the rest." Kyle then started toward the house. The door was standing open as McKenzie had left it.

Steve went to sit on the porch. It wasn't that he thought McKenzie and Kyle needed space, but he didn't know if he wanted to deal with this after the day he had. As he sat against the house, he watched the sun disappear.

_Out, brief candle_, he thought. Steve _had_ read _Macbeth_.

"_It's ironic, isn't it?" Steve started at the sound of his father's voice. Jack laughed, swinging back and forth on Michelle's porch swing. _

"_You know I'm not really here, don't you, son?" he said. _

_Steve could only stare and wonder what was going on. _

"_This is a dream," Jack clarified. _

"_But I'm not sleeping." Steve found his voice. _

"_Yes. You are. You were really tired after the last couple of nights. I know what that's like. Crime doesn't sleep, so how can justice?" _

"_If you're just a dream..."_

"_I'm a projection of your memories."_

"_I've been talking to Eisner too much."_

"_No you haven't. The question is: why am I here?" _

"_How should I know?" _

"_I suppose you wouldn't. It's your subconscious, after all." _

"_You never talked like that." _

"_So get to the point already."_

"_I don't know what it is." _

"_You want to know why I lied to you?"_

"_I already know."_

"_You want me to tell you it's not your fault?"_

"_No. Wait. What did you mean, by 'ironic'?"_

_Jack grinned. "Now you're getting it."_

"_What's ironic?"_

"_You sitting here while she's going through the house looking for ghosts. Don't you remember? Finding my blood on your trophies?"_

_Steve felt his breath catch. "Yes," he said. _

"_What's ironic is that you can't do anything while she goes through the same things you did." _

"_But can't I do something?" _

"_I don't know. I'm dead, remember?"_

_Steve felt like he was falling. "Dad?" _

"_Steve." Jack's voice sounded like it was carrying through water._

"_Dad!"_

Steve's eyes flew open and it was dark. He was alone on the Carpenter's porch.

"Hey." McKenzie's voice broke the silence.

Steve turned his head to see her standing in the door.

"You okay?" she asked, coming closer and putting a hand on his shoulder.

He met her eyes and in a voice that was more of a breath said, "No."

McKenzie slid her arm the rest of the way around his shoulders and sunk down beside him. She kissed his jaw and pressed her face against his neck.

"I know," she whispered. And that was all she said.

**H-5-O**

When Danny and Kono arrived at the morgue, Max looked at them with something like incredulity.

"Hey, Max," Danny said. "What's up?"

"Detective Williams. Officer Kalakaua," Max said. "I have finished my examination of Mr. Carpenter. Cause of death was certainly one bullet to the chest. Mrs. Carpenter's autopsy is almost finished. I will have her results in the morning."

"So will the bodies be released after that?" Kono asked.

"Yes," Max replied.

"Thanks," Danny said. "You'll call us when that happens?"

Max hesitated. "Yes," he said quickly, then turned and disappeared into his office.

Danny and Kono exchanged an amused look and headed back outside.

"Do you ever get used to him?" Kono asked.

Danny shrugged. "Not exactly. But nothing surprises me anymore."

Kono gave him a curious look as she got into the car. "Why do you say that."

"You want me to make a list?"

"I'm serious."

"Yeah. It was just something Steve said the other day that got me thinking. Of course, I haven't exactly thought about it since; we've been a little busy."

"What was it?"

"Well, actually, he didn't say a whole lot of anything, but I brilliantly deduced what he was thinking about. Apparently, he and McKenzie have been talking about kids."

"Really? And that made you think what?"

"I guess after the divorce I thought Grace was it."

"What do you think now?"

"I think you should tell me what you think."

"Right... I suppose it's about time for this conversations, anyway."

"I didn't know there was a specific time for it."

"I said 'about'. Actually, I'm glad you brought it up. I always thought I'd have a couple of kids. You know, if I found the right man."

"That's a big if."

"Not really."

"See, this is why I say nothing surprises me anymore."

**H-5-O**

"It must be late," Steve said, looking at the sky.

"It's only nine," McKenzie replied. "Were you sleeping?"

"Yeah... I dreamed I saw my dad. Right there." Steve nodded toward the porch swing. "It's funny because I never dreamed about him before."

McKenzie nodded. "I had a dream about my dad last night. Well, it was more of a memory. It was when he told me Kyle was gone."

"You remember it?"

"Yeah. I was mad. He was supposed to take me fishing."

"That wasn't the reason."

"No. It was symbolic. He broke every promise he ever made."

"So are you ever going to forgive him?"

"I'm trying. It's not gonna happen just like that."

"Where is he anyway?"

"He took my car back to my place."

"He's staying with you?"

"Well, I guess."

"Do you want him to?"

"I don't know. Sort of. Not really."

"He can stay at my house, if that's better."

"I... Yeah. If that's okay."

"I wouldn't have offered if it weren't."

"Thanks. And that was a nice use of the subjunctive mood there."

"I'm sure that's a compliment."

"You should know."

"You don't make your kids learn that stuff, do you?"

"I correct them if they use the indicative mood in place of the subjunctive."

"It's sad that I actually know what you're saying."

"Well, now you and Danny can have intelligent conversations."

"About English grammar."

"Exactly."

**H-5-O**

Kyle looked out the passenger window of Steve's truck as they pulled up to the beach house. As they got out of the truck, he looked around. Though it was dark, he could hear the ocean and see the palm trees.

"This is really nice," Kyle said. "I can see my sister will be well taken care of."

Steve hesitated a second before closing the door and locking the truck. "People keep saying that."

"What? Don't you believe it?"

They reached the front door and Steve opened it and reset the alarm system once they were inside.

"It just seems so final," Steve said. "And believe me, she can take care of herself."

"You're probably right. But that doesn't mean she wants to."

They fell silent and Kyle started looking around the living room. At first he saw the sparse decorations and tattered curtains. But as he began walking around, he saw pictures on shelves and end tables. Most of them were of McKenzie and Steve and a few other people Kyle didn't know. Looking closer he saw pictures of Steve's family.

"You don't look much like your dad, do you?" he asked.

Steve pulled a picture from behind the one Kyle was looking at. "No," he said, pointing to a blonde girl. "Mary Ann looks more like him."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"In all fairness, you don't know a lot about me."

"Okay. How old is she?"

"Thirty-two. She lives in LA."

"You close?"

Steve paused, not sure how to answer. "We're working on it."

Kyle nodded. "I hope that works out for you."

"For what it's worth, Kyle, I respect you for being here. Mary didn't come to our father's funeral."

"Wow. Why not?"

"I believe her words were, 'something came up'. But I kind of understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah. My dad wasn't as... involved as yours."

"And I took mine for granted."

"You had an amazing father. I only knew him for a few months, but he treated me like family from the beginning. I thought..." Steve trailed off, not wanting to finish even thinking the sentence.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"Nothing," Steve replied quickly. "Come on; I'll show you upstairs."


	11. Taking You with Me

**Chapter Ten "Taking You with Me"**

"_**I've made a habit of never making promises that aren't easy to keep, and there you have it, but now I'm making one that is to keep you here with me... every second that goes by is one more second off my life, and it couldn't be more clear: I'm literally dying without you here."~Relient K**_

The funeral was on Tuesday. McKenzie couldn't remember ever going to a funeral that wasn't on a Tuesday.

Steve wasn't particularly surprised by the turn out. During their short time in Honolulu, the Carpenters had made many friends and there were several families from Oregon there too. Rachel and Stan were there, probably because they thought so much of McKenzie, and for Grace, who had become something of an honorary Carpenter.

But it was after the funeral and the reception at Steve's house that the day really started. People were steadily departing and Steve hadn't seen McKenzie in almost an hour. That was when he noticed her car was gone. He tried calling her, but her phone was off. So, he did the next best thing and drove over to her apartment. Only she wasn't there. For a second, Steve wasn't sure what to think. Then he knew where she was.

He found her sitting on the floor of her parents bedroom with a box of letters and cards open on her lap.

"These were from Grandma Byrne," she said, holding up some letters. "She says, 'I can't wait to meet my little Annie'."

"Who is Annie?" Steve asked.

"Me," McKenzie said, continuing to sort through papers. "My middle name is Anne, and that was her first name. So she called me Annie. I don't remember her."

Steve sat next to McKenzie and looked at the letter. In it, Anne was describing her excitement at an upcoming visit from her daughter's family.

"I only met her once when I was a baby," McKenzie went on. "She died a few years later and Mom couldn't be with her because..."

"Kyle?" Steve asked, putting the pieces together.

"Yeah." McKenzie dropped her hands to her lap and stared off at nothing. "You can call me Annie, if you want," she said suddenly.

"What?" Steve replied.

"Annie. You wanted a nickname." She looked him in the eye. "And will you please punch Kyle the next time he calls me 'Macks'."

"Yes. I will." He put his arm around her shoulders. "You know he loves you and he's trying."

"I know. I'm trying too." McKenzie leaned her head against Steve's shoulder. "I don't know what I would do without you," she said softly.

"You don't have to think about it."

"And you have no idea how important that is."

"I think I do. I didn't really have anyone, so if I can make this easier for you, maybe I'll be able to move on myself."

"I almost forgot." McKenzie sat up and handed Steve an envelope.

"What's this?" he asked.

"It's from a shipping company. There's a package—well, more of a crate—for you. It got in yesterday."

"What is it?" Steve looked over the paperwork trying to gain some clue.

"It's Dad's truck," McKenzie said. "Mom told me he wanted to give it to you."

The papers fell out of Steve's hands and for a second, he could only stare. Then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands covering his mouth and nose, fingertips meeting between his eyebrows. He blinked several times as his eyes began to sting. No matter how hard he tried, this was not going to be a controlled moment. It took some mental convincing for Steve to realize that was okay. He didn't have to be impassive all the time. In fact, that was more a weakness than a few tears would be. Maybe not just a few.

When McKenzie wrapped her arms around his shoulders, Steve felt as if he might be able to get out the words he needed to say. He lowered his hands, holding onto her arm that had settled securely across his chest.

"You can't know," he began in a voice that was more than husky. "There are no words." Then came the part Steve knew he couldn't say without losing it. "He was like my father." And with that, the tears fell. He had finally managed to say what he had been thinking for the longest time, and it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off his chest and he could finally breathe.

It was sometime later that Steve opened his eyes to find that he was laying on the bed and the light coming through the windows was a little less. He vaguely recalled getting up off the floor and laying down. He did not remember taking his shoes off, but they were sitting at the foot of the bed with the laces tucked in. His jacket and tie were also missing. Steve was pretty sure falling asleep in his dress uniform was not a good idea; it made for a lot of ironing.

Then he smelled food. So, picking up his shoes, he hurried down the stairs. His jacket was hanging on the rack in the hall, so he left his shoes next to it and headed for the kitchen. The smell was exponentially stronger and there was something like humming. It wasn't quite like the singing Steve was used to, but it was getting there.

"There are a few Italians on the Carpenter side," McKenzie said as Steve came into the kitchen. "Married in of course, but Dad inherited some of their culinary tastes."

Steve couldn't help smiling. "How did you have time for this?" he asked, looking at the heaping plates of spaghetti and meatballs and French bread.

"You were asleep for almost four hours," McKenzie said, nodding at the clock.

Steve blinked several times. "I was?"

"Yeah. You must have been tired. Have you not been sleeping well?"

"That's par for the course."

McKenzie looked him in the eye. "Really?"

"Yeah. So, are we eating?"

"Yeah."

McKenzie didn't ask any more questions, but somehow, Steve knew it wasn't the end of the conversation. And strangely, he was okay with that.

"So when do you want to get the truck?" McKenzie asked they started eating.

Steve appeared to be thinking about it. "I guess it's too late to go now," he said. "Tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah. That would be good. I think I'm going to stay here for awhile to make it easier to sort through stuff."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I know what you're thinking. I'll be fine. That little one bedroom isn't really home anyway."

"So will you keep the house?"

"Probably not. It's too big for just me."

"I know what you mean."

"So... are you okay?"

Steve moved his fork around on his plate. He didn't really know the answer to that question. "I will be," he said. That much he knew. He wasn't sure when, but he knew the sleepless nights and barely controlled fights with tears would end.

McKenzie seemed satisfied with his answer. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Steve nearly laughed. "Not really," he said. "It's kind of hard to sleep when every time I close my eyes... I have a lot of dreams."

"About your dad?"

"Both of them. Sometimes at the same time."

McKenzie nodded. "I have dreams about things that happened a long time ago. Things Mom and Dad said. It's like I'm watching re-runs of my life."

"I only had one like that. I was in the garage. My dad was there and we were working on the car. Then he left and your dad came in. Somehow I knew Dad wasn't coming back."

"You know, the truck was going to be Dad and Kyle's project. Only Kyle never finished anything, so Dad ended up doing it alone. I think he felt like you were his son too."

Steve didn't say anything. Knowing Jim was going to give him the Jeep was overwhelming enough. Now to realize it was supposed to be for Kyle. Steve shook his head. It was too much. If Jim were alive, he would refuse to take it. And he wondered how Kyle would feel. To know that he had been replaced.

**H-5-O**

The next day Steve showed up in front of the Carpenter's house in a dark green 1960 Willy's Jeep pick-up. McKenzie heard it all the way down the block, so she was waiting for him on the porch.

"You like it?" she asked.

Steve grinned. "It has a few advantages over the Mercury," he said. "For instance, it runs."

"Yeah. Dad was kind of particular about that."

"How are you doing?"

"Good." McKenzie nodded. "I'm glad I can do this alone. I mean..."

"I know. Kyle told me he would wait for you to invite him. He's leaving tomorrow, you know."

"I know. I should probably see him before then."

"You want to drive up to my place? I think I did promise you snorkeling this week."

"Okay. I'll get my stuff." McKenzie disappeared back into the house for a few minutes. She came back in shorts and a tank top with her swimming suit showing underneath. Her flip-flops made a satisfying slapping noise as she and Steve headed down the sidewalk.

They rode back to his house with the windows down and the radio on. The former was an unoriginal addition of Jim's. Farm trucks didn't generally have AM/FM and CD players. Hence the speakers sat on the back of the bench seat.

When they got to Steve's house they were surprised to find that Kyle wasn't there. They didn't think much of it since he wasn't expecting them. One could only hang around Steve's house alone for so long until he got bored.

McKenzie was actually sort of relieved. It wasn't that she particularly didn't want to see Kyle, but it was certainly easier not to.

So McKenzie and Steve headed down to the beach and for a blissful afternoon things were just like old times. Several times, Steve pulled McKenzie underwater when she didn't really want to be and she would splash him and he wouldn't even blink. She wondered if he might be an actual seal on the inside.

The afternoon was wearing on when they finally trudged back up to the beach. The sun had turned the sky a warm golden yellow and it reflected off the water droplets on their skin.

For a second the two of them just stood there in the ankle deep water looking at each other. Steve reached over and brushed some dripping hair from McKenzie's eyes and caught a look in them he hadn't seen for awhile. The corner of her mouth tugged upward and she stood on her toes and kissed him firmly.

"What was that for?" Steve asked as she pulled away.

"It's been awhile," McKenzie said. "I didn't want you to forget."

"I hadn't," Steve replied, pulling her back and kissing her with more energy than before. She melted into his arms, savoring the salty taste on his lips. The tide went in and out and the sand eroded under her toes but she didn't move because her toes were barely touching anyway.


	12. For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

**Yay! New chapter! Thanks for all the great comments. Chapter twelve is well on it's way. **

**Chapter Eleven "For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic"**

"_**I never wanted to say this. You never wanted to stay. Well did you? I put my faith in you, so much faith, and you just threw it away."~Paramore**_

McKenzie was almost asleep when she suddenly propped herself up on her elbows.

"Steve?" she said.

"Mm?" came the response from the man laying next to her in the sand.

"I have a question." McKenzie turned over on her stomach, resting her arm across Steve's chest.

"Is it rhetorical?"

"No. You have to open your eyes and pay attention."

Steve opened his eyes and looked at McKenzie. "I thought we were sleeping."

"Who said that?"

"No one, it just seemed like a good idea."

"To take a nap on the beach in wet clothes?"

"Well, until you said it that way."

"I suppose it might have been a good idea if it weren't dark already."

Steve looked up at the sky. "Almost dark."

"Yeah, well, I don't have your spidey senses."

"Oh, you really think I haven't heard that before? Danny came up with that one about a month after we started working together."

"I never claimed to be profoundly original. Only accurate."

"Not that I'm complaining."

McKenzie smiled and kissed Steve gently. He brought his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

"At the risk of causing you to stop," he said, "what was your question?"

McKenzie kissed him again. "Will you marry me?" she asked.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Okay..." Steve pulled her in and kissed her again. "Under one condition."

"What's that?"

"I get to ask you. I mean with the ring and the kneeling and everything."

"Okay. Then we'll pretend this conversation never happened and you can surprise me."

"What conversation?"

McKenzie laughed and rested her head on Steve's shoulder. "I love you," she said.

"I love you," he said back. He had heard the approaching footsteps, but didn't care who it was or what they heard.

McKenzie didn't notice Kyle's presence until he was a few feet away from them. She sat up and her face felt warm. She didn't know why. Had it been anyone else, she wouldn't have been the slightest bit embarrassed.

"Where have you been all day?" Steve asked, getting up and starting to collect towels and snorkeling gear.

"I got kinda bored just sitting around," Kyle said. "So I went around to some of those cheesy tourist attractions."

"You're leaving tomorrow?" McKenzie asked quietly.

"Yeah."

As the three of them headed toward the house, Steve broke off to put the equipment away, leaving McKenzie and Kyle alone. McKenzie tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to her. Kyle seemed to understand.

"Don't say anything you don't mean," he said.

McKenzie nodded, not looking at him. They reached the front of the house and stood there for a moment in awkward silence.

"I love you," McKenzie finally said. "I can't mean anything else remotely pleasant, but I'll always love you."

Kyle bit his lip for a second as if contemplating something. "I love you too, Macks. I hope someday you'll be happy to see me."

"Yeah," McKenzie exhaled.

At that moment Steve came back and McKenzie asked him to take her home. She was silent on the drive and it wasn't until they arrived that Steve posed a question.

"Do you want to see him off in the morning?" he said.

McKenzie didn't respond for a second. "No," she finally said. "We've said all there is to say."

"Someday you may not believe that."

"And when that day comes, I'll call him up and we'll talk, but not before then. I can't mean anything a good sister is supposed to feel. And I know it's weak, but until I can forgive him, I'd rather not think about him."

"I understand."

McKenzie looked over at Steve who was staring straight ahead. She wondered just how much he understood. She had a feeling it was more that he let on.

**H-5-O**

Steve tried to remember what day it was. Thursday. It was Thursday. He was supposed to take Kyle to the airport. But something had happened on the way there. What was it? And where was Kyle?

Steve couldn't remember anything after driving through the intersection. He couldn't recall if someone had run into them, but it seemed the most likely explanation.

The next step was for Steve to figure out where he was. But opening his eyes didn't help. It was pitch dark and he couldn't move.

And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make his mind focus. He couldn't tell if he were laying down, or sitting, or standing on his head.

_Drugs_.

The word popped into his mind. But what concerned him was that the sort of drugs that would cause him to feel the way he did were not the sort he would be given if he had been in a car accident.

Actually, the car accident theory was seeming less and less likely. For one thing, why would he be in a dark room that was cold and smelled sort of musty.

No. This was probably something far worse than a collision.

Steve went through the events of the morning. Kyle had been up when he got downstairs. He'd made breakfast. And that's when it hit Steve like a ton of bricks.

The coffee tasted funny.

No. He couldn't believe Kyle had done this. He must have been a victim to.

But Kyle had been gone the whole day before. And there were the strange phone calls McKenzie mentioned.

No. There had to be some other explanation. Steve wouldn't admit it, even to himself, but he actually liked Kyle and was getting sort of attached to him. They had a few things in common in spite of their glaring differences.

Steve came back to the present. The coffee _had_ tasted strange. Now he was drugged and starting to feel a tingling in his arms. Probably tied behind him. Slowly, he began to get feeling back in other areas. His feet were asleep, so he was probably sitting.

Definitely sitting with his arms tied behind his back. His ankles were tied to the chair legs. And he realized with something almost like amusement that there was a piece of duct tape over his mouth.

Things were not exactly looking good. The more Steve thought about it, the more he realized his chances of survival were not great. And he couldn't think of any way in which Kyle was not responsible. Steve remembered now that he had asked to drive. It seemed an innocent enough request. Either Kyle was an amazing liar or something else was going on here. Maybe someone was threatening him. As sordid as his past was, leverage wouldn't have been hard to find.

Steve tried to curse, but then remembered his mouth was taped shut.

**H-5-O**

"Ten minutes," Danny said.

Kono and Chin rolled their eyes.

"I'm serious," Danny continued. "I'm giving him ten minutes and then I'm going after him."

"I think you're overreacting," Kono said.

"While I do that a lot, this is not one of those times. Rossi told us he was the target."

"Rossi also thought they weren't supposed to kill Jim and Michelle," Chin said.

"I don't think we can be too careful about anything here," Beckett said. "I agree that someone should try to find McGarrett. He's not usually like this, is he?"

The other three shook their heads.

"Okay." Danny turned to Beckett. "You and I will go see what we can find. Kono, keep trying to track his phone and GPS. Chin, you go over to the Carpenter's place and make sure McKenzie is safe. They could be after her too."

"You got it," Chin said.

"And I'll see if I can find the truck on any traffic cameras," Kono said.

"All right. And check to see if Kyle made his flight," Danny said. "Let's get going."

He and Beckett hurried out to the Camaro and headed toward Steve's house.

"How does he ride in this thing all the time?" Beckett asked, adjusting the seat.

"Superhuman knees?" Danny guessed. "Usually he drives though."

"Ah. I might have guessed."

A short time later they pulled into Steve's driveway and, as they expected, no one was there. So, Danny started down the most likely route to the airport.

A little while later, Kono called them and Danny put her on speaker.

"What have you got?" he asked.

"Okay, it looks like Kyle never made his flight and I haven't been able to trace either of their phones, but I did get a glimpse of the truck on a traffic camera. The problem is, it looks like they're headed to the airport, but I can't find them on any cameras after that."

"Where was the last place the camera caught them."

Kono gave him the address. "And the weird thing is," she said, "Kyle was driving. The video quality isn't good enough to be able to tell much else."

"Okay, we'll head over there and see what we can find. You keep trying to find their phones or the truck."

"Yep. Chin just called and said he's at the Carpenter's and McKenzie is fine. He's gonna stay with her until we have something to go on."

"Good idea. I'll call you when we get there."

Beckett ended the call and looked thoughtful. "What are the possibilities here?" he asked.

Danny exhaled loudly. "Uh, car accident, abduction... The thing is if Steve hasn't called us it means he can't. So either way, it's not good."

**H-5-O**

Steve's shoulders ached and his hands were numb. His skin felt clammy and now he knew that not only was the room cold, dark, and smelly, it was damp too. He knew his eyes should have adjusted by now, but he couldn't even tell how big the room was. He didn't think it was very large by the feel of it, but he couldn't be sure.

His mind was beginning to clear slightly, but he still couldn't remember what happened. One second he was riding along in the car, the next he was waking up here. Wherever "here" was.

Steve was pretty sure the coffee had been drugged. There was no other explanation. He must have lost consciousness in the car and then been brought here.

That didn't look good for Kyle. Steve wanted to believe he hadn't been involved, but the more he thought about it, the less plausible that sounded. And at this point, it was easier to think Kyle was a spineless jerk, because if he wasn't, it meant that whoever was behind this had threatened the only person who mattered to Kyle.

Steve wasn't ready to go there. His head hurt and he couldn't feel his wrists. He tried moving his arms to get his circulation going, but it only made it hurt more, so he stopped. He still wasn't thinking straight. At this point, he just wanted to lose consciousness so he could sleep off the drugs. But apparently, it wasn't his day. The room got light and someone spoke.

"Oh, good. You're awake," a female voice said from behind. It wasn't Jennifer Lee, but Steve was sure he had heard the voice before. "I must say," she continued, "this wasn't as challenging as I thought it would be... but then, I had help."

Steve looked around him and saw that he was in a small room with a concrete floor. It seemed like storage unit or something. He still couldn't see the woman and there was nothing else in his line of sight.

"Don't worry, McGarrett," the woman spoke again, still behind him. "This will all be over soon."


	13. Love Is

**Chapter Twelve "Love Is..."**

"_**He said 'baby, I love you,' but it wasn't true. Now the fire in your eyes has died."~A Rotterdam November**_

McKenzie tore open her third package of poptarts.

"You sure you don't want something?" she asked Chin who was sitting on the other side of the counter.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied.

McKenzie pushed down the toaster lever. "I forgot," she said. "Most people's appetites don't increase with anxiety. I'm like that girl in _Charade_."

"Audrey Hepburn?"

"Yeah. You know, how she ate when she got nervous or scared? I do that. Well, I eat a lot period... and then I ramble."

"Sometimes distraction is a good thing."

"True."

They fell silent, and McKenzie began to nibble on her poptarts. Suddenly she smacked her forehead.

"What?" Chin said, almost laughing.

"The GPS!" she exclaimed.

"We tried that."

"No." McKenzie dug around in her purse at the end of the counter and pulled out her keys. "This GPS." She held it out for Chin to see. "Steve has one just like it on his key-chain."

"Thank God for paranoia." Chin pulled out his cell phone. "Hey, Kono," he said. "I think we've got something."

By that time, McKenzie had finished her poptarts and followed Chin outside.

**H-5-O**

Steve tried to turn his head to see the woman behind him, but he couldn't turn far enough and she was just out of sight. He kept having to remind himself that his mouth was taped, because trying to talk might be somewhat embarrassing. He tried to see if he could bite the tape, but it seemed like he wasn't completely in control of his body still.

Yet Steve desperately wanted to ask what the woman meant when she said she had help and who she was and what she was going to do with him. He didn't think she would answer, at least not to his satisfaction. But Steve wasn't sure anything about this situation would be particularly satisfying. Mostly, he wanted to know whether Kyle was involved or not. He didn't want to be worried about him, but he also didn't want him to be a two-faced sneak.

Steve couldn't have it both ways.

He tried to turn his head again, but he felt a sharp pain in his neck and his vision started to blur.

"We can't have you waking up just yet," the woman said, almost in his ear. "We have to wait for my assistant to return."

_Great_.

Steve didn't have much time for cognitive reasoning before the new dose started working. For some reason he couldn't remember, he wondered where his keys were.

**H-5-O**

Back at 5-O headquarters Chin and McKenzie hurried inside to see what Kono had found.

"Okay, I just have to say, these things are amazing. Where did you get them?" Kono asked.

"Steve wouldn't tell me," McKenzie said.

"Okay... Right. So, this shows us everywhere the tracker has been in the last 24 hours." Kono pointed to the computer screen.

"Can you show us just this morning?" Chin asked.

"Oh yeah." Kono typed in a few instructions and Steve's morning drive came up. "See here he was headed to the airport. But then he takes a detour and ends up out here at a... looks like some kind of storage facility. Now here's the really cool part..."

"Focus," Chin said.

"Right. I can tell how long the tracker stayed there before it moved."

"Where did it go?" McKenzie asked.

"It's moving right now, see." Kono pointed to the little red dot on the map.

"Are there traffic cameras in the area?" Chin asked.

"Yeah, just a sec." Kono pulled up the footage. "Okay, there's the truck, but..."

"It's just Kyle," McKenzie said quietly.

"They might have left Steve at that storage facility. Let Danny and Beckett know where the truck is. We'll go check out the storage space."

"We?" Kono said.

"The three of us. Call them on the way." Chin grabbed McKenzie's arm and headed for the door.

**H-5-O**

Danny pressed talk a fraction of a second after his phone started ringing.

"Tell me you have good news," he said.

"I'm sending you the location of the Silverado," Kono said. "Kyle's driving it, but Steve's not there."

"Right. We're on our way. How'd you find it?"

"Some super secret GPS tracker on Steve's keyring. McKenzie knew about it. You should be able to see all it's movements on your phone. We're heading over to a previous location to see if Steve's there."

"Okay, I'll let you know if we find the truck." Danny ended the call and sped up.

"Question," Beckett said.

"Yeah?" Danny replied.

"What are we going to do when we find him?"

"Kyle? Uh, guess we can kill him since he's McKenzie's brother. Plus he probably knows all sorts of important things by now."

"The signal is stopped."

Danny looked down at his phone. "And we're almost there."

The tracker led them into a national park and they quickly began driving upwards.

"Why do I have a feeling we're gonna find the truck at the bottom of ravine somewhere?" Danny said.

"Because we probably are," Beckett replied. "Let's just hope McGarrett isn't in it."

**H-5-O**

Steve fought the drugs. He managed to stay halfway conscious this time. The woman paced back and forth behind him. She didn't seem impatient, just bored. That wasn't exactly a good thing. He wondered what she was waiting for. If Kyle was her "assistant" maybe she wanted him for something.

Nothing made sense.

Kyle should have known that Steve would help him. Okay, maybe not, but Steve couldn't help feeling a little offended that he never asked.

Of course, had Steve been a repeat offender who's sister might possibly be in danger, he might think twice about trusting himself too.

There it was. Steve thought Kyle trusted him, but it was looking like he didn't. If Kyle had told Steve what was going on, he could have done something about it.

And where the hell were his keys?

Steve felt his mind slow to a crawl. He couldn't think, couldn't move. He wanted to close his eyes and block everything out. But there were more important things to do.

The woman left the room for a while. Steve couldn't tell how long. When she came back, there was someone with her.

Even in his drug-induced stupor, Steve could tell the other person was a male, about 5'10" and 160 pounds. He smelled warm and sweaty, but there was something familiar about the smell. Though he couldn't see him, Steve knew the other man had red hair. Really, he knew it before Kyle even entered the room.

The two captors started talking, but as hard as he tried, Steve could only catch a word here and there. Truck. Followed. Lost them. These were not exactly encouraging words.

Where were those keys anyway?

**H-5-O**

"Look!" Beckett pointed at the phone screen.

"Why is it moving?" Danny asked.

"Maybe he was just dumping the car. He might still have the keys with him."

"Let's hope so. It was stopped right up here for a while." Danny pulled into a parking lot and stopped the car. He and Beckett got out and looked around. There was no one to be seen in the area, but there was a "scenic lookout" at one end of the parking lot. And there was a Silverado-sized hole in the fence.

Danny and Beckett hurried to the edge and looked down. There was the blue truck, laying upside down at the base of the cliff.

"Call for backup," Danny told Beckett. Then he took his own phone and called Kono. "Hey, we've got some possibly bad news," he said.

"What's up?" Kono asked.

"Down. Steve's truck is lying at the bottom of a cliff and the GPS signal is moving again."

"Yeah, I see that. Looks like it's coming back this way. Maybe Kyle was sent to dump the truck? Throw us off?"

"Seems plausible. HPD is on its way. I think we'll follow the signal. See if we can catch up." Danny was on his way back to the car.

"Okay. See you soon."

Danny hung up and looked back to see Beckett still standing at the break in the fence.

"Go ahead," he said. "I'll wait for backup."

Danny only nodded and jumped in the car, peeling out. He felt comfortable driving a little faster since he didn't have an audience.

**H-5-O**

Steve felt something scratch the side of his face and then the tape was ripped away. The hand dropped to his arm, but it didn't feel threatening.

"Kyle?" Steve's voice came out sort of thick as he was still trying to make his tongue cooperate.

"I'm sorry," Kyle whispered. "I didn't know what else to do."

"Why? Why did you do this?"

"I didn't have a choice."

"You had a choice! You could have told me."

"I couldn't risk it. She's all I have. You can't possibly understand that. She's the only person in the world who loves me."

"It didn't have to be this way. I could have kept her safe."

"I tried to believe that. I really did."

"Kyle... she'll never forgive you."

Kyle nodded. "I know," he said hoarsely. "She doesn't deserve this. I'm sorry."


	14. Yet

**Chapter Thirteen "Yet"**

"_**If it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love. If it doesn't break your heart, it's not enough. It's when you're breakin' down, with your insides comin' out; that's when you find out what your heart is made of. And you haven't lost me yet."~Switchfoot**_

McKenzie bit her nails in the backseat of Kono's car. She was starting to feel like this had happened before. Except that time it had been Danny driving, and no matter the situation, Danny was a better driver than Kono. He drove too fast most of the time, but his passengers rarely noticed it. McKenzie figured it was from driving in New Jersey.

It was easier for her to think about these sorts of things, rather than worrying, but it didn't really help. She was worried. Because someone had been killing everyone she loved, and she didn't think she could handle it happening again. Especially now that her brother was involved.

And McKenzie wasn't exactly in the mood to be worrying about two people. Not that she really had a choice. There was no scenario where whatever happened was not extremely bad. McKenzie had had just about enough of extremely bad things happening.

Through the front seats, she watched the little red dot move across the phone screen. It was almost back to their destination. McKenzie hoped that was a good thing, but she was pretty sure it meant Kyle would be there when they arrived.

The chances of salvaging the brother/sister relationship were long gone, and McKenzie was only hoping to get Steve back alive.

**H-5-O**

"_Dad?" Steve's tongue felt like it was tied in a knot. The room seemed to tilt and he saw movement in the shadows. "Dad?" he said again, but he didn't know why. The man who stepped into the light was not Jack McGarrett._

"_I'm here, Son," Jim said, kneeling in front of Steve and putting his hands on his knees._

_Steve was pretty sure this was some kind of drug-induced hallucination._

"_Hold on, Steve," Jim said. "You're gonna make it."_

"_I can't," Steve said, but he wasn't talking about the same thing. "I'm not like you."_

"_No." Jim seemed like he was trying not to laugh. "Not much like anyway. Except in the important things." He dipped his head, so that Steve couldn't see his eyes. "You'll be a better father than I was."_

_Steve shook his head emphatically. "That's not possible," he said._

"_You don't know." Jim looked up again. "There's a lot that I regret."_

_Steve bent forward so that his head was almost touching Jim's. "I wish you were still here. There's so much I want to ask you."_

"_You already have the answers, Son."_

"_But I miss you."_

"_Steve." Jim's voice became urgent. "You need to wake up now."_

"_I want to stay with you."_

"_You can't stay here. You have to wake up!"_

"_No... Dad... I love you."_

"_Wake up, Steve." The voice was softer. "It's time to say goodbye. I love you too."_

The haze began to lift. Steve felt cold, but immediately, his mind cleared.

"Where are my keys?" he demanded of no one in particular.

"These?" Kyle asked, pulling them out of his pocket. "They're not going to do you much good anymore."

Steve feared the worst. That they had discovered the GPS and destroyed it. However, Kyle alleviated that fear.

"I mean with your truck at the bottom of a cliff. Sorry about that, but you know it's better that no one else gets involved."

Steve shook his head. "You don't know my team," he said. "They're not going to give up that easily."

"I know what you're trying to do. You want to convince me to help you so I won't get as bad a sentence or something. But that doesn't matter to me. I've sufficiently screwed up my own life. I'm just trying to make sure McKenzie makes it out of this alive."

"They are going to find us, Kyle," Steve said. "And when they do all the threats you're so afraid of will mean nothing. McKenzie will be safe."

"See, you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know how deep this goes."

"Then maybe you should tell me."

Kyle didn't answer, and Steve heard a door open and close. Then measured footsteps approached.

"Ah, he's awake," came the female voice. "Perfect."

**H-5-O**

McKenzie had never worn Kevlar before. At this point, she'd stopped counting all the strange things she'd been doing. She switched her .357 for a semi-automatic. Six shots might not be enough.

Danny had arrived right after the other three, so all of them stood together outside the seemingly abandoned storage building.

"I don't suppose anyone has mentioned how against the law this is?" Danny asked, nodding at McKenzie.

"We've done worse," Kono said. "Anyway, she's gonna be our eyes. This is just a precaution." Kono gestured at McKenzie attire.

"I've called for backup," Chin said, "but they're still about 15 minutes out."

"Okay," Danny said. "Seems like you already have a plan."

"We'll follow the signal," Kono said. "McKenzie's gonna keep an eye on it and the exit for us."

"This is the only way in or out," Chin said, indicating the wide opening in the chain-link fence. "But with all the rows of storage units inside, we'll need someone out here, just in case anyone tries to get out."

"You okay with this?" Danny asked McKenzie.

She bit the inside of her mouth and then smirked. "No, I wish I was going with you," she said. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Just get in there and get Steve out."

"All right." Danny looked at the other two. "Let's go."

**H-5-O**

"We have a problem," the woman said tonelessly. "Company."

"Are you serious?" Kyle asked.

Steve couldn't help smirking. "Told you so," he said.

"I wouldn't be gloating in your position, McGarrett," the woman said. "Here. We're out of drugs."

Steve heard a noise that sounded an awful lot like someone catching a gun. That did not bode well for Steve.

He figured he should be thankful that Kyle only knocked him almost unconscious, rather than shooting him. His vision blurred and he couldn't be sure if it was from blood in his eyes or not. He heard Kyle and the woman talking and he was just starting to remember where he had heard that voice before, when several things happened at once.

There was shouting outside and Steve felt the chair start to move. Without thinking, he rocked it as hard as he could in the general direction he last remembered Kyle.

Unfortunately, Kyle wasn't there and Steve landed hard on his right arm. He couldn't be sure he didn't feel it crack.

There was more shouting, gunshots, and Steve started to drift in and out of consciousness. He pulled at the restraints until a jolt of pain shot up his arm and he woke up a little.

He still couldn't see very well, but Steve was more aware of what was going on. He was on his side on the floor and he didn't think his arm was broken, but probably cracked.

And he heard the last voice he wanted to.

**H-5-O**

McKenzie cursed and ran across the street.

"Danny, the signal's moving," she said.

"Where?" came the reply in her ear.

"Uh, east of you. I'm coming in."

"No! Stay where you are."

"I can head them off. I'm closer to where they're headed."

"Hey! We don't know who's in there. Stay where you are!"

McKenzie didn't say anything, but kept running.

_Sorry, Danny,_ she thought. _I can't do that._

Navigating the rows of storage units, McKenzie found the spot where the GPS signal was coming from. It looked like an office at the end of one of the rows. She approached slowly, holding her gun at her side and trying to regulate her breathing.

Coming up on the door, she tried the handle, but it was locked. Next to it though, was a bigger door, like those on the rest of the units. It didn't have a lock on it, so McKenzie reached for the handle and pulled as hard as she could. She was so focused on the other side of the door, that she didn't see Danny, Chin, and Kono coming around a corner down the row from her.

The first thing McKenzie saw was Steve's chair tip over and Kyle standing behind him with a gun pointed at his head. Then the others arrived and the shooting started. But they were focused on the people behind Kyle.

McKenzie had no awareness of anything but the gun in her brother's hand. Three months ago, she had been faced with a similar situation and acted immediately. But this wasn't some mindless killer. This was her brother. He got one warning.

"Let him go, Kyle," she said. "Let him go, or I will shoot you."

Kyle looked around him, seeming lost. "Once he's gone they'll leave you alone," he said, as if trying to convince himself it was true.

McKenzie's finger slid into place. "Now," she said. "I won't tell you again."

Something snapped. Kyle took aim and a shot rang out.

"_**It's when you're breakin' down with your insides comin' out; that's when you find out what your heart is made of. And you haven't lost me yet. I'll sing until heart caves in. No, you haven't lost me yet."**_


	15. Cave In

**A few more chapters until the end. I can't believe it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys are awesome.**

**Chapter Fourteen "Cave In"**

"_**If the bombs go off, the sun will still be shinning because we've heard it said that every mushroom cloud has a silver lining."~Owl City**_

The consequences of her choice would reach far beyond what she could see at the time. But there was no other option.

Using that phrase, "I won't tell you again," had been a bad idea. It was what their mother always said when they were misbehaving. The associations Kyle had with those words were not helpful.

In that moment, McKenzie realized that Kyle probably actually wanted to kill Steve. It all made so much more sense when she thought about how Steve had sort of replaced Kyle in their family.

Not to her though. Steve was so much more important that Kyle had ever been. So the choice really made itself.

McKenzie saw the murderous look in her brother's eyes and squeezed the trigger. She didn't know how many times. She stopped when she saw blood pooling on the floor. She put the gun back in its place at her hip and hurried over to Steve. He was still awake, but his forehead was resting on the floor and blood was still running from where Kyle had hit him.

McKenzie quickly untied Steve, ignoring the chaos around her. She got him up in a sitting position and noticed that he was holding his arm funny.

"Hey," she said softly. "You okay?"

Steve made a groaning noise. "They gave me something," he said. "I don't know what. Otherwise, I'm fine."

"So the blood pouring from your head? The broken arm?"

"It's not broken. Fractured maybe... Is he dead?"

McKenzie finally looked back at her brother. His bloody right arm was stretched toward them and his face scrunched in pain.

"No," McKenzie said, releasing a deep breath. She didn't feel it necessary to mention that he'd probably never use his arm again.

They heard sirens approaching and McKenzie helped Steve to his feet.

"Hey," Danny said coming over to them. "Look I totally get it, but if you do anything like that again, I don't care if the governor herself adopts you, I will arrest you. Okay?"

"Got it," McKenzie said.

"And you." Danny turned to Steve. "You know what, I'm gonna let you say it since I'm pretty sure you've had a rough morning." Danny nodded at Kyle and Steve got the hint.

Smiling weakly, he said, "Book 'em, Danno."

**H-5-O**

"_I like her," Jack said. "She's good for you."_

"_Yeah," Steve replied. "She's good for all of us."_

"_Your mom would have loved her too."_

"_I know."_

"_And the in-laws..."_

"_We're not married."_

"_Well, they would have made great in-laws, anyway."_

"_They were more than that."_

"_The word is surrogate, Steve. I think it went both ways."_

"_Does it bother you?"_

"_I'm dead. Why would it bother me?"_

"_Because we never had that. Because I had a better relationship with Jim in three months than I had with you in eighteen years."_

"_Does it bother you, Steve? That's what matters now."_

**H-5-O**

Steve didn't really remember what happened after Danny arrested Kyle. He was pretty sure he argued about going to the hospital, but apparently not very much because the next thing he knew, he was waking up to the fluorescent-like hospital smell. His head was pounding, but he no longer felt the haze of drugs.

_Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining._

Steve was pretty sure he'd heard McKenzie sing something to that effect. She was sitting a chair across from him, tapping her fingers when Steve opened his eyes.

"Hey," she said. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired of being tired," Steve said.

"As soon as you feel up to it, you can go home."

"That's new."

"Well, you don't have a concussion and your arm is only slightly fractured. The doctor said you could leave as soon as the drugs were out of your system. And according to his last test, you're clean."

Steve sat up slowly and threw his legs over the side of the bed. For a second, he thought about what had happened.

"How are you?" he asked, turning to McKenzie again.

She sighed loudly and crossed her arms. "My brain is sort of fried," she said. "Detective Beckett has been explaining to me about family annihilators and idealists."

Steve looked confused. "What?"

"It all makes sense now. I said 'I won't tell you again.' That's what my mom used to say. That's why Kyle decided to kill you."

"So he was taking out resentment, or what?"

"Something like that. I think he felt ignored when I was born, and he might have been right. Dad didn't really know how to deal with him when he started getting in trouble. I was always... good."

"But he never acted like he blamed any of you."

"Consciously. But why else would he try to hurt me so much?"

"He said he was trying to keep you alive."

"You know that's completely illogical. What would you do? Don't answer that, please."

"I'd kill them," Steve answered anyway. "Kyle should have known that."

"You know I don't want to believe he wanted to do this... but deep down I think he did."

"You think we'll ever know?"

McKenzie shrugged. "Beckett has a lot of theories about stressors and... and other things I can't remember."

"I guess we should just be happy they didn't win."

"Is this how justice always feels?"

"What, you mean like when I sent the man who killed my father to prison instead of killing him? I don't know. It's always different when it's personal."

"Like Danny's partner? His brother? Kono's mentor? Your friend, Nick?... I've heard a lot of stories this week."

"It's never the same. The situations were all different."

"I guess... So, what happens when you realize that someone is just a bad person and there's nothing you can do about it?"

"Nothing. Nick was a self-serving SOB, Matt was weak. I think Kyle was a little of both and many other things. I didn't want to think he was, as you say, a bad person, but..."

"He is. There are many things I think I could have forgiven, but kidnapping and murder just seems pretty evil."

Steve nodded and stared across the room. "Where is he?"

"I don't want to know. Surgery, probably."

"Right. I need to find Danny."

"He's waiting to take us home."

"Okay, give me a minute to talk to him, okay?"

"Sure." McKenzie nodded and turned to the door.

Steve followed her out into the waiting room where Danny, Kono, and Chin were sitting. Danny had a scrape along the side of his face that looked an awful lot like a bullet graze.

"Sorry," Steve said to him.

Danny looked confused. "For getting kidnapped?" he asked.

"No. For getting you shot."

"Ah. This is nothing. She got what was coming to her anyway."

"You killed her?"

"Yeah. She was sort of shooting at us. Not that I minded much."

"Who was she?"

"Keri Anderson. Never saw that coming."

"Now I remember. So, she's the one who ordered the hit on Beckett, too?"

"Right now we don't know. Kyle is still in surgery, so we can't ask him."

"I think we can do that tomorrow."

"Yeah. Um... did you hear about the truck?"

"Kyle said something, but I can't remember."

"Yeah, well, the insurance will take care of it and you get a new truck out of the deal, so it's not so bad."

"What did he do?"

"He sort of drove it off a cliff."

Steve cursed.

"On the upside, you get to ride with me until the replacement comes."

"Great. So what's the plan?"

"I'm taking you home."

"I mean after that."

"I'm leaving you there..."

"Tomorrow, Danno."

"Yeah. We'll try to get Kyle turned over to us. Beckett is back at HQ making notes, so we'll go over that in the morning. I'm hoping for a quiet day... I shouldn't have said that."

Steve smirked and knocked on the wall. Danny glared at him.

"I didn't know you were superstitious," Danny said. "Plus this wall is probably made of plastic or something."

"I just did it too annoy you."

"I should have known. Come on, Super SEAL. Let's get you home."


	16. Shadows

**Thanks for all the reviews. I'm not sure how many more chapters this will have, but probably two or three. I haven't decided where to end yet, but there will certainly be a sequel, so stay tuned. Most of the psychology stuff in this chapter I learned from Criminal Minds and my own imagination, so I apologize if it's completely wrong.**

**Chapter Fifteen "Shadows"**

"_**There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master. I tried to save you but I can't find the answer. I'm holding on to you; I'll never let go. I need you with me as I enter the shadows."~Red**_

For probably the first time in his life, morning came too soon for Steve. His head still hurt and his arms ached from being tired behind him. He couldn't go swimming with a fractured arm and a sling. Swimming was sort of his version of coffee in the morning.

Actual coffee didn't have the desired effect. Swimming made him feel good. Coffee made him feel awake. Awake was definitely an improvement, but not the same thing as good.

As he thought of that, Steve tried to remember the last time he felt truly good. The night before last had been close. For about an hour things felt okay. He recalled the droplets of water on McKenzie's eyelashes, sparkling gold in the sunset. Yes. He had felt good then. And he could again.

So, Steve met Danny in the driveway and smiled genuinely.

"Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," Danny replied. "You feeling all right?"

"Yeah." Steve nodded. "I'm okay."

Danny was half surprised that Steve was telling the truth. Happy, to be sure, but surprised.

"You know," he said. "Usually when you feel good, I'm concerned, but I'll just be happy for you today."

"Why?"

"Well, I was expecting aneurysm face this morning. So..."

"You should have quit while you were ahead."

"I'm always ahead."

"Shorter than—"

"Don't. Just don't. We don't talk about that."

"Okay." Steve smirked to himself when Danny wasn't looking.

The mood changed when they arrived at HQ and Kono told them the hospital had called.

"They won't release Kyle Carpenter until tomorrow," she said. "Apparently he lost a lot of blood."

"I could've told you that," Danny said.

Steve glared at him.

"What?" Danny spread his arms. "McKenzie emptied a clip in his arm. She didn't miss a single shot. I mean, I'm pretty sure there are some arteries in there."

"Just a couple," Kono said sarcastically.

"So until then," Steve said.

"Here's the profile Beckett worked up yesterday," Chin said, bringing it up on the computer. "He'll be here soon to go over it."

"So not only are we dealing with mass murderers, but psychotic mass murderers?" Steve asked.

"I would consider these more sociopathic," Beckett said as he came in the door with Dr. Eisner.

"Why's that?" Steve asked.

"Because their crimes all have a social element to them. I've taken the liberty of contacting the psychologist involved in this case." Beckett gestured at Eisner. "I believe he concurs."

"Indeed," Eisner said. "After looking over the case, I would say this group is definitely anti-social."

"In other words," Beckett said, "they want to destroy social constructs such as family, religion, and so on."

"Why?" Steve asked.

"That question is unanswerable," Eisner said. "These people are motivated at times by warped idealism, but ultimately it is an incomprehensible need to destroy the fabric of society."

"What about Kyle?"

Eisner and Beckett exchanged a look.

"We won't know until we can talk to him," Beckett said. "At least not definitively."

"Then what do you speculate?"

Eisner shook his head. "I know you trust my judgment, Steve, but it would be better if we held off on that. Kyle Carpenter is a complex individual and textbook psychology won't help any of us."

"What textbooks are you reading?" Danny asked. "I mean, I know I only have a BS in criminal psychology, but this stuff is beyond anything I learned."

"Exactly," Eisner said. "These situations are rare, but can be catastrophic. You don't learn this in school."

"Probably because large groups of people don't usually want to 'destroy the fabric of society'."

"Yes. That is where their agenda fails. They can't destroy social constructs while being one."

"So they self destructed," Kono said.

Beckett nodded. "Precisely."

**H-5-O**

Steve tapped his fingers on his desk. His brain hurt, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the information he'd been given, or the head wound. He thought it was probably both.

He began to wonder what he was supposed to do next. How could things just go back to normal after this?

Steve should have known. He'd been in war and come back home. This wasn't much different.

But somehow it was. This was his family being torn apart all over again. He didn't think it was possible to deepen those wounds. He didn't know how he was going to move on.

Without thinking, Steve picked up his phone. He wasn't normally so impulsive; he didn't need to be. But today was different.

"Hello?" McKenzie answered on the second ring.

"Hey," Steve said. "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"It's ten-thirty. Even if I were asleep, I don't think I could have complained."

"Oh. Well, I just... You know what, I don't know."  
"What's going on?"

"Nothing." Steve rubbed his forehead, but it didn't help. "We had a graduate level psychology class this morning."

"Oh. And... I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah. I understand. Listen, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night? Nothing."

"Don't make plans. Okay?"

"Why?"

"You'll see. I'll call you later."

"Okay. Be safe. I love you."

"Love you too."

Somehow, hearing those words gave Steve the second wind he needed. It allowed him to last the rest of the day until he was able to go home. Steve had never really liked being at home before, but the fact that McKenzie was usually there, sneaking around in his refrigerator when he got home made it the highlight of his day. Neither of them liked cooking for one, so they usually ate together and then spent the evening watching a movie and doing paperwork/grading homework.

When Steve pulled into his driveway that evening, McKenzie's car was there, but she wasn't in the kitchen like she usually was. After looking around downstairs, Steve determined that the creaking in the upstairs hallway was the result of someone standing up there and not just the house being old and noisy.

He found McKenzie standing in the middle of the hallway looking at pictures on the wall. She didn't notice Steve's presence, so he stood at the top of the stairs watching her for a moment. He saw her reach out and brush the backs of her fingernails against the glass of one picture. Even though he couldn't see it, he knew which one it was from it's position on the wall. It was the McGarrett's last family portrait.

"Hey," Steve said. "What are you doing?"

McKenzie turned to face him, surprised she hadn't noticed his entrance. She shrugged. "I've never been up here," she said, "and I was tired of looking at my own ghosts."

Steve nodded, understanding perfectly. "How is that going, by the way?"

"I'm still trying to remember that some things have sentimental value and some things are just junk... I think you should come over and take whatever of Dad's stuff you want."

Steve hesitated for a second. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. I've already boxed up what I want from the house. Now I'm just trying to decide what other people might want. It would be easier if I didn't have to."

"Okay." Steve nodded. "I'll come over this weekend."

"Speaking of that..."

"No. It's a surprise. Are you hungry?"

"I am always hungry." McKenzie grabbed Steve's hand and they headed downstairs to investigate the contents of the refrigerator.

**H-5-O**

As they fixed dinner together, Steve heard McKenzie humming quietly. Usually he regarded it as background noise because he never recognized the song. But this time, he thought he may have heard it before.

"What is that?" he asked.

"Broccoli?" McKenzie replied, confused.

"The song."

"Oh. 'Shadows'."

The title didn't mean anything to Steve, but McKenzie kept talking.

"Have you ever hated someone?" she asked. "I mean really hated someone."

Steve looked her in the eye, not sure how to answer at first. "Yes," he finally said. "Many people in different ways."

"How do you get rid of it?"

"I don't know." Steve exhaled loudly. "I wish I did."


	17. Bring Me to Life

**Chapter Sixteen "Bring Me to Life"**

"_**How can you see into my eyes like open doors?... Wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark."~Evanescence**_

McKenzie had almost made up her mind. Deep inside, she had, but her emotions were still at war. Her rational brain knew what she had decided was best, knew she could be happy.

Happiness was so subjective anyway. It was a choice more than anything. The right choice.

"I'm not going to hate anymore," she said, and she thought it was just to herself.

"What?" Steve asked from across the kitchen.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was talking to myself."

"It sounded important."

"It is. I've... felt this bitterness for a week—longer really—and I know I can't hold on to it. Part of me wants to, but I can't live like that."

"What made you think of that?"

"I've been thinking about it. But I guess I was thinking if my heart is capable of hating so much, how can I ever love anyone? But knowing how much I love you, I know I can't keep hating. It's like poison. I can almost taste it."

Steve nodded, not in agreement, but because he knew exactly what he was talking about. Nothing could take the bitter taste off his own tongue when he thought of Victor Hesse or Hiro Noshimuri. And now Keri Anderson. He'd never suspected her. They all thought it was Jennifer Lee, who was certainly suspicious, but not a murderer apparently.

It didn't make him feel any better. In fact, Steve was starting to realize that nothing was really making it better. McKenzie's choice to move on was encouraging, but that meant Steve had to move on too. He'd known that for a while, but that same emotional part of him wanted to keep the secret resentment.

But he thought of McKenzie's reasoning. How could he love her while part of him was still hating so many people? He couldn't. Not completely and that thought terrified him. He couldn't lose her because of that. He had to let go too.

Steve crossed the room and wrapped his arms around McKenzie's waist. He kissed her soundly as tears ran down his face.

**H-5-O**

Steve was trying to be positive. Saturday morning, he got the call that Kyle was ready for interrogation. He tried to focus on the rest of the day, rather than the hellish morning he was about to have.

"What's up?" Danny asked when he picked Steve up.

"What do you mean?" Steve replied.

"You've got a weird face."

"Danny—"

"No. I get it, okay? I mean, I understand why you would be dreading today. But that's not it."

"What's Kono doing today?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, what I don't understand is why you're asking. She'll be at HQ when we get there, doing what we're doing."

"Okay. So she'll have time for another assignment."

"What 'assignment'?"

Steve smirked. "You'll see."

"When exactly?"

"After we talk to Kyle."

"You know, I'm glad you're enjoying this. Maybe you won't kill him."

"Have I ever.."

"Okay, no, but you've come close."

"You've come closer."

"Excuse me? Hanging a guy off a roof? The shark cage?"

"Neither of which were life threatening. I mean, you really think I would drop someone? However, driving around the city with a man on your hood..."

"He was tied down."

"Yeah, but with his nerves, he could have had a heart attack."

"Okay. The point is, you don't have a lot of self control when people don't tell you what you want to know. Add to that the fact that you hate this guy—"

"I don't hate him."

"What?"

"Kyle. I don't hate him."

"Wow. That's... very big of you."

"I believe we've had this conversation."

"No. No. We never have this conversation. Ever."

"Right. You have a big personality."

"Damn straight."

**H-5-O**

Steve didn't really think he was ready to talk to Kyle, but having had a day to regroup, he was probably as prepared as he would ever be. Danny stood by the door, as if to keep an eye on Steve and behind the two-way glass, Beckett and Eisner were watching.

Steve turned a chair around backwards and sat down. For a second he only stared at the man across the table, wondering if his resolve not to hat Kyle was such a good idea. Was there real remorse or shame in Kyle's eyes, or was he just hiding something worse?

Steve wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he had to finish this. He had to know why. Though he was certain the reason would not satisfy him.

"When did they first contact you?" Steve decided to start with the facts.

"Sunday," Kyle replied, tonelessly.

"What'd they say?"

Kyle shrugged. "Said they knew a lot that I didn't want you or McKenzie to know. I tried to blow her off. But she had details. Must have known some of my old crew. I don't know."

Steve rubbed his knuckles against his forehead. "What did she want you to do?"

Kyle let out a humorless chuckle. "Take you out. Her words."

"Wednesday afternoon..."

"I was meeting her. She gave me the drugs for the coffee. Directions to the abandoned storage facility. Ha. Even money for the run."

Steve bit the inside of his mouth. "And you agreed?"

"To drug you, drive you to the hideout, and kill you? Yeah. It was supposed to be easy."

"Guess you didn't count on the key chain GPS, huh?"

"Should have known you would have something like that."

"Not really. I only have one more question... Why?"

Kyle shook his head. "I told you."

"No. You knew if you had told me what was going on, I would have kept her safe. That wasn't it. Why did you want to hurt her?"

"You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me!" Steve stood up, knocking the chair over.

Danny stood up straight, ready to intervene.

Steve leaned forward, placing his hands flat on the table. Kyle looked up at him, his jaw set. For a moment they stared at one another. Steve had the more piercing stare, the more imposing presence overall. Even then, it didn't always get him the results he wanted.

"Just tell me," he said. "Tell me why you wanted to destroy what was left of your family."

For a moment, it didn't seem like Kyle was going to answer. But then he did. "I lost my family when I was thirteen. I just didn't know it. Try being an awkward, disappointing teenager and then along comes the perfect little girl. The one who does everything right from the time she can do more than eat and sleep. And you just can't help but love her. I couldn't. But... I hated her too. She was so... good."

Steve's arm hurt and he stood up straight to relieve the pressure. He didn't understand. He never would. "How could you want to hurt the only person who loves you?"

Kyle looked Steve in the eye. "You can't understand. You're good too. Like McKenzie. Like Dad. I'm not."

It didn't really make sense to Steve. But it was the best answer he could expect. He left the room, not looking back, deciding that his life with McKenzie was far more important than any history, his or hers, or even the things they had been through together.

Steve decided to live.


	18. Dont Give Up

**I'm on a roll! Thanks for your regular reviews. The next chapter will probably be the last and then there might be an epilogue.**

**Chapter Seventeen "Don't Give Up"**

"_**Don't give up on love and throw it all away... When did it become so easy to run from your pain?... Why does it take losing everything to realize it might be time to change? Don't give up on love and throw it all away."~Sanctus Real**_

Back in his office, Steve drummed his fingers on the desk. He was trying to wrap his head around the fact that all was finished. It was Beckett's case to begin with, so he was wrapping things up. Kyle was going to prison and the rest of those involved were either dead or in custody.

Steve assumed he should feel happy that Jim and Michelle's killers were being brought to justice. He surprised himself that what he was more happy for was no longer being part of the investigation. He was glad he didn't have to deal with it anymore. Maybe that was a part of moving on.

There was a knock at Steve's door and Kono poked her head in.

"You wanted to see me?" she said.

"Did Danny tell you that?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. He said you were being 'mysterious'."

"Come in." Steve waved Kono to the chair across his desk.

When she sat down, Kono noticed the small black box near Steve's hand and she understood immediately. A smile spread over her face and she crossed her arms.

"What's the plan?" she asked.

Steve tilted his head and smirked. "I have dinner reservations at eight." He handed Kono a folder. "I've outlined your mission in there. You should have everything you need."

Kono flipped through the folder, her smile growing as she went. "So, am I making some executive decisions, here?" She pointed at one item with very few details.

Steve almost laughed. "I think you will be a better judge of that."

"She looks good in blue."

"Everyone looks good in blue, not that I'm arguing."

Kono nodded. "She looks _really_ good in blue."

"I knew this would be easy for you."

"Oh, yeah. Does Danny know?"

"I'm sure he suspects. I haven't said anything, though."

"Hmm...You want me to let you tell him?"

"If you can wait that long."

Kono frowned. "What's this?" she pulled something out of the folder. It was a gift card to Danny's favorite restaurant.

"Dinner's on me," Steve replied. "I mean, it would have been something for just the two of you, but I know he has Grace tonight, so I thought the whole family could go."

The whole family was sort of a nebulous concept. Sometimes it was the four of them: Danny, Kono, Grace, and Chin. Sometimes Rachel came along. Sometimes even Stan. Kono could see that Steve had provided for that possibility. Not that Rachel or Stan would be particularly impressed with the pizza place that reminded Danny of home. They would be invited anyway.

"First things first," Steve said, standing up. "Thank you for doing this."

"It's nothing, brah," Kono said. "I'm glad you asked me."

"Remember, McKenzie doesn't know anything. I just told her not to make plans today."

"Right. I can play dumb, remember?"

"I politely forgot."

"Of course you did. So, I'll have her ready at seven-thirty."

"Good. If I could promote you, I would."

"I knew that. But thanks."

Kono left the office and Steve was forced to realize that this was about to happen. Everything that made the morning worthwhile was coming. There was only one thing that could go wrong.

What if she said no?

It was a completely irrational fear. But Steve couldn't shake it as he went through the rest of the day.

**H-5-O**

"Are you going to tell me what you're doing?" Danny asked as Kono was preparing to leave.

"No," she replied, handing him the gift card Steve had given her. "It's a surprise."

"What is this?" Danny flipped the piece of plastic back and forth in his hand.

"Dinner for the 'family'. You know, Steve is actually very generous."

"When it furthers one of his evil plots."

"It's not an evil plot; it's a very nice plot. Don't worry about it. I'll meet you guys there, okay?"

"Yeah. Where are you going?"

"It's a surprise. I think I said that."

"Yes. I just didn't think I was on the receiving end."

"You're not, really. But I have to go. I'll see you later."

Kono kissed Danny's cheek and hurried to the stairs. Danny watched her go, pretty sure he knew what she was doing, but for once, trying not to speculate.

**H-5-O**

When Kono arrived at the Carpenter house, McKenzie wasn't exactly surprised. As they sat in the kitchen, enjoying some iced tea, Kono posed a question.

"How long has it been since we had a girls' day?" she asked.

McKenzie thought about it. "There was that afternoon all the guys were doing something I don't remember. It probably involved football. We took Grace to the movies and had ice cream."

"That was the Super Bowl, which you made me miss, and it was almost two months ago."

"I know. Everyone's been busy lately."

"Well, not anymore. Today, you and me are going shopping. And I mean, shopping. You need a blue dress."

"I have one... two, actually."

"A new one. Besides they're just sundresses."

"Oh, so I need a nice blue dress? Does this have something to do with Steve's mysterious plans?"

"He has plans? I don't know."

"Okay. Cut it out. I'll go shopping with you, but I know you're in on it."

"I know nothing."

"Now say that with a German accent."

"Why?"

"It's from Hogan's Heroes. That was my Dad's favorite show. He had all the DVDs."

"I've heard of it. Something about a POW camp."

"A comedy set in a POW camp. The German sergeant is always saying, 'I know nothing' when the prisoners do something they're not supposed to."

"That will have to be our next girls' day."

"You might have trouble with that, since Steve likes them too. They're not very girly anyway."

"He just ruins everything. Well... oh, never mind. Are you ready to go?"

"You were about to give it away weren't you. This was all his idea?"

Kono squared her jaw. "I know nothing," she said in a ridiculous German accent.

**H-5-O**

Steve didn't know why he was so nervous. The very idea that she would say no haunted him. But it was impossible. She had already asked him and he had, in effect, said yes. Practically, they were already engaged.

That thought made Steve's palms sweat more and his stomach started to jump around. He had nothing to worry about. He knew that. Still, knowing did nothing to ease his nerves.

Danny had let Steve borrow the Camaro after a rather unsatisfying explanation as to what he was doing that evening.

Steve was dressed in his second best and had the entire evening planned. He knew everything would go perfectly, but couldn't help feeling anxious. And because he experienced anxiety so rarely, he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He stood outside McKenzie's door and reached up to knock. This was the beginning of the rest of his life. He knew she had to say yes. He couldn't live with anything else.

This concerned Steve because his experience showed just how horribly wrong things could go. Believing they deserved to be happy after what they'd suffered didn't make it so.

Still the knowledge that everything could be over in a heartbeat made Steve more certain that what he was about to do was the best thing he could.

When McKenzie answered the door, Steve felt a weight lift off his shoulders. She had her hair pulled back from her forehead and it curled around her ears. She wore a dark blue dress that ended just above her knees. Her considerable heels didn't really make a dent in the height difference between herself and Steve.

"Hey," she said when Steve only stared at her.

"Hey," he replied, releasing the breath he had been holding. "You look amazing."

McKenzie came down the porch steps and took Steve's hand. "You always do," she said.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her softly.

"You hungry?" he asked.

McKenzie grinned. "Always."

**H-5-O**

"So you gonna tell us what's going on, cos'?" Chin asked.

Sipping her Diet Coke, Kono shook her head.

"I think we all know," Rachel said. "Or at least suspect."

"Officially, I have no idea what any of you are talking about," Kono said, holding up her hands. "I would, however, be interested in discussing the likelihood of that pizza arriving soon."

"Danno says the longer it takes, the better it tastes," Grace said. "I'm not sure why."

"Because you want it more," Danny said.

"I don't think I really believe that," Kono said. "I always want pizza."

Rachel seemed to be trying not to laugh. Danny gave her a look and she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself.

"I just think it's cute, Daniel," she said, holding up an hand to keep him from talking. "The fact that you two have so much in common. Between you and Grace, I'm not sure the rest of us will get anything to eat."

"I know what you mean," Chin said. "Try going out with them and Steve and McKenzie. She can eat us all under the table."

"It's always the little ones," Danny said.

Rachel gave Danny an ironic look and he slapped his forehead.

"You walked right into that one," Kono said.

Danny looked over at Grace. "For that, you and me are going to eat _all_ the pizza," he said.

Grace grinned. "Sounds good to me, Danno!"


	19. Dismantle Repair

**This is the last chapter before the epilogue and then... Yes, you guessed it, another sequel. I can't seem to end this one. Mostly because there's stuff that still needs to happen. I already know what's going to happen, but any requests or suggestions are welcome because I always have room for more.**

**Thanks to everyone who's followed this story and left reviews. You guys are awesome; I love you!**

**Chapter Eighteen "Dismantle. Repair."**

"_**The night was young and so were we. Talked about life, God, death, and your family. Did not want any promises, just my undivided honesty, and you said, things are gonna change now for the better. Hands, like secrets are the hardest thing to keep from you. Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through. Dismantle me down. Repair. You dismantle me."~Anberlin**_

They talked of everything and nothing as the night wore on. They didn't talk about Kyle. In fact the conversation had almost nothing to do with the last week. It focused more on the three months previous and that evening. Until McKenzie brought up her adventures in sorting through her parents things.

"Mostly it's been good," she said. "I mean, it's good to go through all those memories, but yesterday I discovered something missing."

Steve met her eyes. "What?" he asked with a cat-like expression.

"My grandmother's ring." McKenzie returned Steve's gaze with confusion. "When she died, she gave it to Mom and I suppose I would have gotten it eventually, but I can't find it. It wasn't very valuable, but it was important to Mom."

Steve fought a smile. "I wouldn't worry about it," he said.

"What?"

Then Steve took the black box from his jacket pocket. Before McKenzie could realize what was happening, he was on one knee beside the table. She felt her heart lodge in her throat, even though she had sort of known this was coming. Her hand went to her chest as she tried to breathe.

Steve cleared his throat. His lips moved, but McKenzie didn't hear anything. She only saw her grandmother's ring, the white gold looking shinier and the band a little smaller than the last time she had seen it.

Then McKenzie realized Steve was staring at her as if waiting for something.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" she asked.

Steve tried, with marginal success, not to laugh. "I said, 'will you marry me'," he replied.

"Oh, um, yes. I mean, yes! Of course I will." McKenzie leaned forward and threw her arms around his neck. "But where did you get that?" she demanded, pointing at the ring.

Steve smirked as he took it out of the box. "Your mom gave it to me a few weeks ago. Right after I asked your father's permission."

For a moment, McKenzie couldn't speak. She hadn't realized that Steve had wanted to marry her for that long. She had assumed it was a relatively new idea. But then she realized that she should have known better. Steve would never make a decision like this without a lot of thought.

"I want to show you something," Steve said, sitting in his chair once again and holding out the ring. "Look on the inside."

McKenzie reached for it and tilted it so she could see. Engraved on the inside of the band were the words "My Little Annie." The words of her grandmother's letter. McKenzie felt tears trying to escape and she tried to blink them away. This was no time for that.

"It's perfect," she whispered around the lump in her throat. She shook her head as she slipped it on her finger. "I should have know. Mom always was sneaky like that."

"She's not really gone, you know," Steve said. "I mean, I don't feel like she is."

McKenzie nodded. "Neither do I. As long as we remember them, they'll never really die."

**H-5-O**

As Steve drove home, he thought about everything. The half hour from the Carpenter's house to his gave him the time to process what would soon happen. He'd known for a while this was what he wanted. And now he was sure it was the only thing that would make his insane life have meaning.

He remembered the week they had lived in the same house and how much he missed it. He missed getting up in the morning and making breakfast with McKenzie. He missed falling asleep on the couch with her.

Steve smiled at the thought that soon he wouldn't have to miss any of those things. Then he pulled into his driveway and saw an unfamiliar truck sitting there.

His door was unlocked and the shoes next to the welcome mat could only belong to one person. Inside, Danny was sitting on the couch, his socked feet on the coffee table, watching TV.

"Apparently," he said without looking at Steve, "the insurance company takes very good care of the governor's task force."

"That's my truck?" Steve asked, pointing in the general direction of the driveway.

"Yeah. Do you realize you own three vehicles, not a single one of them fuel efficient?"

"What are you talking about? The Mercury's fuel efficient."

"Because it doesn't run."

"Exactly. So, there's a reason you're here?"

"To drop off your truck and get my car. So, you're getting married?"

"What?"

"Really? I mean, you didn't have to say anything, though it would have been nice. We all knew."

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"And I can't keep a secret?"

"I don't know. I really hadn't talked to anyone but Jim and Michelle about it. My sister doesn't even know."

"Yeah. Maybe you should call her."

"LA is two hours ahead of us and she works early."

"In the morning, genius."

"I'm planning on it."

"So her parents did know. And here I thought this was a new development."

"No, I talked to them a few weeks ago and before that, I'd been thinking about it for... well, since I met her actually."

"I should have known."

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh, I thought it was obvious. I mean, you're different with her. Good different."

Steve shrugged. "You're the detective."

"Yes. I am."

"So, I have a question."

"Does it require an answer?"

"It's a yes or no question. I would take an 'I'll think about it' too."

"Oh. So you want something from me?"

"Yes. Now that you mention it. I want you to be my best man."

"Really?"

"Why do you sound surprised?"

"That's not surprise. You need to work on recognizing my tones."

"Okay, what was that one?"

"It said something like 'I would be happy to'."

"Good. 'Cause I didn't know who I was going to ask if you said no." Steve smirked.

"I know. That's why I didn't." Danny punched Steve's shoulder and grinned at him. "So, have you set a date?"

"No. We'll probably talk about it tomorrow. Speaking of that. Do you want to bring the family over there tomorrow afternoon."

"The family. Yeah."

"Where are they now?"

"Kono and Grace are having a sleepover. I'm going over there to make them breakfast in the morning."

Steve stood up and tossed Danny the throw from the back of the couch.

"Then you'd better get some sleep."

"Have I mentioned that your couch is more comfortable than my bed?"

"A few times. Goodnight, Danno."

**H-5-O**

In the morning, Steve drove his new truck over to the Carpenter's house. When he went inside, he smelled fresh coffee and bacon. He smiled to himself, walking slowly through the halls. For a minuted, he stood in the doorway of the kitchen listening to the soft music and appreciating the view.

"So, that's the new car?" McKenzie asked as she took the bacon out of the oven.

"Yeah," Steve replied, pushing off from the door frame and coming over to sit at the counter. "Danny brought it by last night."

"Did you tell him?"

"He knew. He reminds me that he's a detective."

"Of course. Breakfast?"

"That's kind of why I'm here."

"Yeah. I'm sure it's the only reason."

"Haven't you heard, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?"

"I'm doomed then... Well, I did make German pancakes again. With lemon juice this time."

"Hey, I would still love you if collectively all we could make were cold cereal."

"That is good to know. Here." McKenzie passed Steve a plate and a mug of coffee. "You feel like going on an adventure through Dad's stuff today?"

"Yeah," Steve replied. "I told Danny to bring everyone over later."

"That's probably a good idea. I've been thinking."

"About?"

"A couple things. One is that I'm going back to school tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I called the principal yesterday."

"And what was the other thing?"

"About the house. I think I'll stay here until we get married. That way I can keep cleaning it out and get it ready to sell."

"And that leads to another imminent decision. When?"

"Soon," was all McKenzie said.

Steve nodded. Both of them would have been happy had the wedding been tomorrow.


	20. Epilogue: Changing World

_**Epilogue: Changing World**_

"_**The very fears which were gripping my mind are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dreams. My life is not what I thought. I'm not where I planned to be. Something's gone. There's nothing wrong with my changing world."~Kutless**_

Steve straightened his tie for the twentieth time in the last two minutes. Across the small room, Danny watched him.

"You okay?" he asked.

Steve turned to look at Danny. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Danny came over and helped Steve with his tie. "Nervous?"

"No, Danno."

"Hey. If you're not, there's something wrong with you. Just remember, no one will be looking at you."

"I know. I'm fine."

"Really? You look like you're gonna be sick."

"Shut up, Danno."

"How many times—"

"Have you told me not to call you that. I know." Steve nodded.

"Yet you still do it."

"Yes. And?"

Danny dropped his hands. "Don't touch the tie; it's perfect."

"How do you do that with your 'goofy thumbs'?"

"Practice." Danny looked at his watch. "Places."

Steve nodded and the two of them went their separate ways.

H-5-O

Danny met up with the rest of the wedding party in the foyer of the church. Kono was helping McKenzie with her veil and Grace was watching.

"How's he doing?" Chin asked, quietly.

"I thought he was gonna be sick,"Danny replied, "but he seems to be doing all right now."

"Hey," Kono said coming over to them. "Ready?"

Danny looked at Grace. "You ready, Monkey?" he asked.

Grace nodded. "I'm a little nervous."

Danny bent down to her level. "You'll do fine. Just drop the rose petals, but not the rings, okay?"

"Okay."

Danny kissed her forehead and they got in position. Grace was at the head of the train with Danny and Kono right behind. After them came Chin with McKenzie on his arm.

"You ready for this?" Chin asked as the music started and Grace headed down the aisle.

McKenzie took a deep breath. "I'll never be more ready," she said.

In front of them, Danny and Kono started down the aisle. Above the heads of the guests, McKenzie could see a white cap. As she started moving, dark hair became visible, then blue eyes, then his face. There, she fixed her gaze. He was all that mattered.

**H-5-O**

Steve looked over the guests, surprised at how many were in attendance. Near the front, Governor Jameson and her family sat. A few rows back was Kamekona. Even Rachel and Stan were there.

But there was an empty seat in the front row. Steve didn't know whether he expected Mary Ann to show up or not. Still the fact that she wasn't there hurt.

Soon, Steve's mind was far from his sister as the ceremony began. Grace dropped her rose petals beautifully, and Kono and Danny looked perfect together in spite of their obvious differences.

Finally, the wedding march began. McKenzie's red hair stood out against the white and her eyes were bright sea-green under her veil.

Steve met her eyes and he forgot about his sweaty palms and the butterflies in his stomach. There was nothing to be nervous about.

When the preacher asked, "Who gives this woman to be married?" Steve felt his stomach drop to his feet.

But Chin looked at Danny and then Kono and the three of them said together, "Her family."

**H-5-O**

A soft breeze blew through the open window. The cool sheets accomplished little, but McKenzie wasn't cold. Warmth radiated from the body beside her. Steve was awake too, but she didn't know that.

He was thinking about how she had said she didn't want a honeymoon.

Her words were, "I want to spend an entire week at our house. No work, no cell phones, and I'm pretty sure with your contacts, we could have a blockade in the driveway."

This was the last night of the week. The next morning, Steve was going back to work. At that thought, he moved closer to McKenzie and put his arm around her waist. He pressed his nose against her neck and she leaned back against him.

"You're still awake?" he asked.

"Just thinking," she said.

"About?"

"You, mostly."

"That's understandable."

"'Cause you're just so amazing."

"No, because I've been thinking about you."

McKenzie felt the smile creep across her face. "Understandable."

They were silent for a minute or two, and then McKenzie suddenly asked a question.

"Were you disappointed?"

"What?" Steve replied.

"That your sister wasn't there."

There it was. They hadn't spoken of it all week, but Mary Ann's conspicuous absence was obvious to everyone.

"Yeah," Steve finally said. "I mean, I understand. But... I hoped she would come."

"Did she ever call you back?"

Steve remembered every time he's tried to call and gotten Mary Ann's voicemail. "No," he said.

He felt McKenzie's hand over his, and in the silence, he felt the words she couldn't think of. All the right things she wanted to say, but didn't know. He knew she'd had a worse relationship with her brother. He knew his relationship with Mary Ann was still saveable.

It sort of helped that McKenzie had been telling him that ever since the first time Mary Ann didn't answer his call.

Steve and McKenzie had suffered the loss of their parents and Kyle's betrayal. But Mary Ann didn't have to be another casualty of a dysfunctional family. If she didn't want to be.

**H-5-O**

Steve opened his eyes at 5:30 AM sharp. McKenzie was sound asleep and he let her stay that way as he got up and got ready for his morning swim.

It was early summer and the current was getting strong. That was good.

The pull of the waves cleared his head of all the things he'd have to think about soon. He knew that his job would test his relationship with McKenzie in the years to come, but being able to think in years with her made Steve feel warm.

As he swam back to the shore, he saw sunlight beginning to dance on the waves. He didn't know why it took him so long to come back to this. Perhaps he was stubborn and a little hurt by what seemed like his father's rejection. He remembered that as he called his sister again.

"You've reached Mary Ann. Leave a message." Steve couldn't count how many times he'd heard that message.

"Mary, it's Steve," he said. "I don't know what's going on, but we need to talk. Call me, please. I love you. Bye."

Steve heard the footsteps on the stairs. It was early for her to be up, especially since she didn't work during the summer.

But McKenzie came around the corner, into the kitchen where Steve was standing in his still damp shorts and t-shirt.

"One of these days," she said. "I'll get up in time to go swimming with you."

Steve smiled. "As much as I doubt that, I appreciate the sentiment."

"You know, it has come to my attention that we are running low on food. Perhaps blocking the driveway was a bad idea."

"What are you saying?"

"We get cereal for breakfast."

"How sad."

"I'll go shopping today. Don't worry, we still have coffee."

"You do need to try the swimming thing. It's better than coffee."

"I can see how that might be true... for you."

The light conversation continued through breakfast and then Steve had to get ready for work. The sound of a car in the driveway was odd after a week of silence. Of course, Danny came inside.

"Good morning, Mrs. McGarrett," he said.

She grinned. "Morning, Danno."

Danny spread his hands. "Why do I try?"

"I don't know, Danno," Steve said, coming down the stairs.

"Hey, you ready to go back to paradise?"

"I didn't know I left." Steve smirked. He turned to McKenzie and kissed her lightly. "I'll call you later," he said.

"Okay," she replied. "I love you."

"Love you too."

McKenzie followed Steve and Danny to the door and as they headed for the car, she called out,

"Hey, don't let him get shot, okay?"

Danny turned around and gave her a knowing look. "I'll bring him home," he said. "I promise, I always will."

_The End_

**Hey all! Thanks for the awesome reviews. Especially to those of you who reviewed every chapter. You guys rock!**

**I hope you're looking forward to the next installment. I haven't decided what to call it yet, but you'll know it when you see it. The first chapter should be up soon.**


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